The Bachelorette star JoJo Fletcher said after a "whirlwind" week, her date with Chase McNary was the tipping point of emotional stress.

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Prior to McNary and Fletcher's date in Thailand, the Bachelorette met his family in Colorado and McNary confessed he was falling in love.

"Chase is someone I've had a strong connection with since the beginning. I know for him, opening up carries a lot more weight. But this man is one in a million, and I was so excited to see where this day was going to take us," Fletcher wrote in her People blog.

The only problem was that Fletcher's feelings had already been solidified for Jordan Rodgers and Robby Hayes -- she truly loved them both. The cards were stacked against McNary at this point, but Fletcher acknowledged the possibility of being in love with three men at once.

While she said the idea of loving three men simultaneously would be "crazy," she wasn't going to "rule it out."

"The second I saw Chase my heart lit up! It had been about a week since I had spent time with him, and I really missed how playful and affectionate he is with me. This date with Chase was incredible, and I was so excited to see where it would go," Fletcher said.

However, Fletcher and McNary's date was interrupted by Hayes, who stopped by the Bachelorette's hotel room to talk more.

"The moment Robby came to my door was such a surprise. It's not really shown in the show that often, but there is time between dates where we go our separate ways, shower, interview, eat and then meet back up for our second half of our date. I was just hanging out, getting ready for an interview when the knock came," Fletcher explained.

"I was shocked to see Robby since this was my day to be with Chase, but it was a nice surprise! And honestly, it's gestures like this that make me feel so loved and cherished by Robby. And it confirms my love that I have for him too."

Despite the roadblock, Fletcher was excited and optimistic to spend the night portion of her date with McNary.

"But I'd be lying if I didn't admit that a lot was weighing on my mind. I was already in love with two men who loved me back. I kept thinking, Will Chase get there with me? Will I be able to get there with Chase?" Fletcher confessed.

"Giving Chase that Fantasy Suite card was me needing more time with Chase, more time to explore where our relationship could go."

In the Fantasy Suite, McNary poured his heart out to Fletcher. McNary -- whose parents went through a brutal divorce when he was younger, which resulted in his guard being up in relationships -- told Fletcher he loved her and wanted to spend the rest of his life with her.

"When Chase told me he was in love with me, I felt an immediate wave of confusion. I was overloaded with emotions of happiness, regret, fear and sadness," Fletcher said, which is clearly a reaction McNary wasn't expecting.

"Don't get me wrong, it felt wonderful to hear Chase tell me those words. Words I know are hard for him to say. But it was a terrible feeling to still feel confused after hearing something I've been longing to hear for some time. I knew in that moment that something didn't feel right."

Fletcher couldn't think of anything her romance with McNary was missing except for the fact it was a little behind her relationships with Rodgers and Hayes.

"I realized that all I needed was time. I still needed more time. But I decided that one night wouldn't be enough," the Bachelorette revealed.

Fletcher therefore dumped McNary, and since he had just confessed his love, he was furious and baffled.

"Breaking up with Chase was excruciating. I didn't want to say goodbye. But I felt like it would have been unfair to spend the evening with him when I didn't think that things could change for me overnight," Fletcher admitted.

"Watching this back, seeing how much pain I caused Chase, it fills me so much sorrow. It still remains one of the hardest moments of my life."

Heading into the Rose Ceremony that took place at the end of Monday night's episode, Fletcher was apparently still reeling from her split with McNary.

"I was still pretty emotional from sending Chase home... Knowing I was heading into it with two roses and two men gave me comfort in the fact that I wouldn't have to have a sad goodbye. So when Chase surprised me and showed up at the Rose Ceremony, I was shocked," Fletcher said.

But McNary wasn't looking for a second chance. Instead, he just wanted to apologize for how he left things and assure Fletcher he still viewed her in a positive light.

"Watching it back, I feel bad for how confused Robby and Jordan must have been. After Chase spoke with me, I felt so much more at ease because I hated how terribly we left things, but it was still sad. This journey isn't easy, love is crazy and in this experience there are no rules," Fletcher wrote in the blog.




About The Author: Elizabeth Kwiatkowski

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