The Bachelorette star Kaitlyn Bristowe is defending her decision to only tell Shawn Booth about her sexual experience with Nick Viall.
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"My relationship with Shawn meant a lot at this point. Like I've said, you have to separate each relationship and this was one of those moments where I needed to separate this relationship and give it the attention it needed and deserved," Bristowe wrote in her People blog.
"I know what you're thinking: Why was Shawn the only one who deserved that honesty? Why had I only told Shawn? The choice to tell only him at that point was another difficult decision. But that was the point our relationship had reached. Each relationship moves at its own speed, and that was a place we had reached."
Bristowe still had Viall, Ben Higgins and Jared Haibon in the running for her heart at this point.
"Plus, he was someone who had a harder time because of his concerns with trust and taking into account how advanced our feelings were, it just felt like the right thing to do... He was already saying what a challenge this journey had been for him, and the last thing I would want would be for us to end up together at the end of this and then to tell him," she said.
"That felt beyond dishonest and unfair. He deserved honesty in that moment, and I wanted to let him know I felt guilty because of how much I cared about him. And I just kept thinking that, if it were the other way around and I was in his shoes, I would want to know."
Bristowe, however, confessed she'd struggle with the same situation had she been in Booth's shoes.
"[But] I would appreciate the honesty and work to forgive. It meant a lot that Shawn took a minute to truly think about it. And it was comforting to know he realized that he wanted to get past it and that he wanted me out of this. In that moment I knew Shawn was the kind of man that would work to get through anything with me and not give up on love," Bristowe explained.
The Bachelorette said it became clear Booth would fight for her and overcome many challenges to keep her.
"I knew it wouldn't be easy, but I also knew what we had," Bristowe wrote in her blog, adding that she actually takes some ownership for Booth's stressed-out and needy behavior.
"I am at fault for telling him I thought he was 'the one' in San Antonio. Truthfully, while I did feel that at the time, I also had other relationships that were progressing and that I really wanted to explore. And I also needed to figure out how I felt without Shawn telling me he didn't trust Nick and without Nick telling me he had zero respect for Shawn."
Bristowe confessed the rivalry between Booth and Viall was "partially" why she opted to cancel the cocktail party. She didn't want the guys' opinions to get inside her head.
RELATED LINK: 'THE BACHELORETTE' COUPLES NOW"This was a difficult choice I was making, and I wanted it to be my own," the show star noted. "This was MY forever, and I had to be a bit selfish and sort things out for myself."
At the Rose Ceremony, Bristowe decided to eliminate Haibon.
About The Author: Elizabeth Kwiatkowski
