The Bachelorette bachelor Mike Planeta is digging deeper into why he plans to remain a virgin until marriage and has revealed whether he hesitated to compete for the sex-positive Katie Thurston on Season 17.
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The gym owner from San Diego, CA, said his family has always spoken openly about sex and his happily-married parents never shied away from the topic.
Mike even joked that one of his buddies calls his family "the raunchiest but cleanest family" ever, and so he said he wasn't reluctant to appear on The Bachelorette once he learned its star would be Katie, who introduced herself to Matt James on The Bachelor with a vibrator in her hand.
"I didn't even hesitate -- because that's how I am! I love to speak about this stuff; I love to talk about it... I think we're much more similar than people think," Mike shared.
"When I think of the term 'sex-positive,' I think of people who just express exactly where they're at when it comes to the topic of sex. I don't think it's something that means we need to be so overly experienced, because I think experience comes in a lot of different ways."
Although Mike's parents influenced his decision to wait until marriage to have sex, Mike said he made that decision for himself.
"A lot of guys when I was growing up were like, 'Aren't you worried? Aren't you worried you're going to be terrible [in bed]?' And this and that," Mike recalled.
"And like, no, because I want to be able to fully understand that woman and show her exactly how I view her and how honored I feel like she should feel and how safe she should feel."
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Mike said patience is important in any relationship and the idea of truly getting to know a person before sex is a beautiful concept.
After Becca noted Mike is the type of man every woman wants, Mike confessed he is "extremely flawed" but simply "convicted" in wanting to give this gift of virginity to his wife.
RELATED LINK: 'THE BACHELORETTE' COUPLES NOWMike also said it makes it easier to "sustain" his goal when understanding the "why" behind doing it.
"As men, we need to step up and be better. We are obviously falling short in areas, myself included... where women aren't feeling loved and they're not feeling secured and they're not feeling honored," Mike explained, adding that men must be vulnerable and communicative in order to change.
Mike said he's convicted in his choice to wait until marriage to have sex because he believes "wholeheartedly that God grabs the most rotten ones the earliest."
Michael joked, "I was one of the most rotten ones when I was born. [God] was like, 'You do not get to experience a lot of these things because you're going to get in trouble.'"
Mike recalled Katie laughing when he told her that story and continued, "Knowing that about myself, it was almost like a layer of protection, where it was like, 'No, you don't get to do this.'"
He added, "You have honor her, you have to show her that there's so much more that you see in her, right? And there's so much more that you want for her. You want to elevate her."
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The former baseball player confessed that men tend to be selfish and he's willing to "put work in" for the huge reward later in life.
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"If you're a man and that's something that you're struggling with or you're feeling insecure about, own it!" Mike said.
"You're doing it for a reason... you're convicted by it for a reason. So find out what that reason is, understand it, and then, you know, verbalize it to your future spouse or your girlfriend."
Mike said there's "such a beauty" to committing yourself and your body to one person "for the rest of your life."
"It's the hardest thing I've ever had to do, ever! When I wake up in the morning, the first thing on my mind is sex. I'm like, 'Calm down, chill out! Go back to bed!' But it's something that if I know it's that tough, then it's going to be so worth it when I have it!" Mike explained.
"If you serve a woman... and not think about yourself, you'll be just fine!" he concluded.
On The Bachelorette premiere, Mike said people tend to assume he's "a huge player" based on his fit physique and good looks.
"That's not morally where I'm at. So I'm waiting for marriage, I've never had sex. The stigma is, like, 'Oh, you can't connect with that.' But I disagree with that," Mike revealed in his intro package.
"I want Katie to understand that I don't think there's anything wrong with being sex-positive. I personally want to share that in within marriage, that's me. I mean, if I fall in love with Katie, maybe that's something that we can, you know, take that road together."
Mike explained to Katie that he's a virgin during a subsequent group date in which nearly a dozen men were tasked with trying to explain why they'd be "the greatest lover of all time" for Katie.
Mike spoke from the heart about saving himself for his future wife, and the story brought Katie to tears.
"Mike acknowledged that he knows exactly who I am. I'm going to get emotional just talking about it! For him to choose to be here for me, knowing who I am and how I am, that's probably what hit me the most," Katie cried to the cameras in the second episode.
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About The Author: Elizabeth Kwiatkowski
