The Golden Bachelorette's Jonathan Rone has revealed that he was "ready to leave" the show right before his solo date with Joan Vassos, which ultimately squashed his fears and changed his outlook.
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On The Golden Bachelorette's third episode, Jonathan Rone, a 61-year-old shipping consultant from Oakland, IA, was asked to accompany Joan on a one-on-one date.
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But in a possible Bachelor franchise first, Jonathan was actually hoping to go on a group date instead.
"I wanted to play it safe and go on that group date," Jonathan admitted to Joe Amabile and Serena Pitt on a recent episode of the "Bachelor Happy Hour" podcast.
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Jonathan explained how he liked the idea of a low-stakes and low-pressure date.
"And so when my name was called and I knew I was going on that one-on-one date with Joan, I was like, 'Oh my god!' I was excited but I was really, really terrified -- to the point where I was actually seeing myself not getting a rose on the one-on-one date and so it was scary," Jonathan said.
Before a bachelor embarks on a date with Joan, he must pack his bags in case Joan decides to send him home.
The moment when Jonathan began packing his suitcases apparently reminded him of when he had to pack his bags and leave his marriage.
"Ending the relationship and the friendship in a divorce, it completely blindsided me," Jonathan recalled of his former wife allegedly asking him for a divorce out of nowhere.
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Jonathan said having to pack his bags in The Golden Bachelorette mansion "was a rough moment" for him.
"Because there was something that I felt, like, I wasn't worthy," Jonathan explained.
"Everyone was sitting around the couch area and I just snuck out. No one even noticed that I left! I was like, 'Okay, you know what? I've felt that feeling before. No one is going to notice if I leave.'"
Jonathan continued, "I went upstairs and I started packing my bags because I made the decision that I was ready to leave."
RELATED LINK: 'THE BACHELORETTE' COUPLES NOW: WHOM DID 'THE BACHELORETTE' STARS AND THEIR BACHELOR PICKS ULTIMATELY END UP WITH?! (PHOTOS)
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The act of unzipping his suitcase apparently reminded Jonathan of his failed marriage and how much it hurt him.
"It was almost like I opened a wound in my heart," Jonathan admitted.
"It brought me back to the divorce where the moment I had to pack my bags and get out of the house was that feeling.
"In a sense, I was unzipping my luggage to pack to get out of the house," he added, "and if you don't want someone to see that you're hurt, they're not going to see it."
Jonathan said there was a lot of symbolism and significance to that moment.
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However, during his horseback riding date with Joan, Jonathan said he was able to let loose, let go of his worries, and be "completely present."
Jonathan recalled embracing nature, bonding with his horse, and connecting with Joan.
In those moments, Jonathan was able to forget that a rose was on the table and he could be facing elimination.
Over dinner that night, Jonathan opened up about his past relationship and some of the trauma he's carried with him through life, and he said that Joan "totally validated" his feelings and made him feel comfortable.
"When I got the rose after all of those emotions and things like that, I said to myself, 'You know what, Jonathan? It's okay. Whatever happens after this point is okay. You got the rose. She sees something in you and she cares about you [enough] to keep you," Jonathan said.
"So at that point, I was like, 'Whatever happens, happens.' I felt validated and I was going to be okay with whatever outcome happens."
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At the end of the day, Jonathan said he was "absolutely" happy to have missed that kickball group date and gone on a one-on-one date with Joan instead.
At the third Rose Ceremony of the season, Joan eliminated Charles King, Kim Buike and Gregg Lassen.
Gregg recently told Entertainment Weekly that he didn't think Joan liked him all that much.
"It was very clear to me very quickly that there were other men that she was more interested in -- and honestly, that was fine," Gregg acknowledged.
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"I'm in love with half of the guys in the house, so when she was dating other people, I was like, 'Well, that's one of my new best friends.' So I was just happy for them."
Joan also told Jason Tartick on his "Trading Secrets" podcast last month that she bonded with most of the men on her season.
The 61-year-old private school administrator and mother shared, "It's crazy being on this show. You reveal a lot of stuff to total strangers really soon, but you form these really strong bonds because you do that."
Joan therefore reiterated that she "fell in love a lot" during her journey.
As for whether Joan found true love -- and The One -- she teased of her season's ending: "I left the show exactly where I think I need to be."
Joan concluded that "life has a way of unfolding the way it's supposed to" and she believes that her journey on The Golden Bachelorette "really did."
Joan has made other cryptic comments about her The Golden Bachelorette ending in recent weeks, and she's been reluctant to share specifics about whether she found the man of her dreams.
When asked to spill more details about how her journey concluded on The View, Joan said, "I feel like everybody's journey is completely different, including mine."
Joan added, "Mine ended in a unique way, but the way it ended makes me very happy."
RELATED LINK: 'THE BACHELOR' FRANCHISE COUPLES NOW: WHO IS STILL TOGETHER?? (PHOTOS)
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