William Holman: I did bad throwing Ben Castoriano down the river

William Holman, an aspiring stand-up comedian, thought he was golden when one of The Bachelorette's group dates required the bachelors to roast Ashley Hebert.


However, the funnyman's chance to shine backfired when he unintentionally insulted The Bachelorette star multiple times, rehashing Ashley's repressed insecurities and causing her to breakdown in tears. Ashley's vulnerability mixed with William's regret led the instant strong connection the couple had formed during the season's first date in Las Vegas to slowly falter.

William then attempted to redeem himself during Monday night's episode when he shared a two-on-one date with Ben Castoriano and told Ashley that Ben had online dating plans upon his return home. Although William's warning influenced Ashley to immediately send Ben packing, he failed to re-establish his chemistry with Ashley later in the date and was also eliminated as a result.

During a conference call with reporters on Thursday, William discussed his The Bachelorette experience with Reality TV World -- including why he initially felt many of Ashley's suitors didn't have her on their minds, which bachelors he believed had very strong sincere feelings for Ashley, what his impressions were of nice guy Ames Brown, and whether he felt he was unfairly eliminated because Ashley had been in a "bad mood" on the two-on-one date.

Reality TV World: You told Ashley there were some bachelors who always had Ashley on their minds, but then there were some others who didn't. What did you mean by that -- do you think some bachelors were there for the wrong reasons or were just sticking around despite not having strong feelings for Ashley, and if so, who were they?


William Holman: There was definitely some talk in the house early on, and it was a very difficult thing because a lot of guys think because they hadn't had a one-on-one date or a group date, that they don't have a chance with her and they start thinking about what happens after the show. (Laughs)

I know I did a bad thing by throwing one guy down a river. I wouldn't want to do that to any of the other guys after doing that, because any of the guys that did have those feelings, after they got the chance to have a group date or a one-on-one, that feeling was totally gone.

Ashley definitely brings a different feeling out in you and it makes you believe in the process and really appreciate it. It's just difficult to be in the house in the beginning not having that kind of date.

Reality TV World: When I talked to Jeff Medolla a couple weeks ago, he felt only three or four guys were really into Ashley. Do you agree with that, and if so, which bachelors you believe were the ones who did have strong feelings for Ashley? 

William Holman: I wouldn't necessarily agree with "the mask" on that one, but he -- I would say that there were guys who definitely had stronger feelings for Ashley than others, and [Ben Flajnik], [J.P. Rosenbaum], myself, and I even thought [Bentley Williams] in the beginning -- I didn't realize what was going to come out in the show, but [Constantine Tzortzis] in the beginning didn't seem like he had strong feelings for her, but then he really grew [feelings for] her.


Those are some of the guys who I felt had a really true connection, and Ames, I just didn't get to see the dates later on, because I just got sent home. So, I just didn't get to see how their connection was.

Reality TV World: What was your impression of Ames while you were on the show? Some viewers have said he's grown on them and Ashley obviously saw something in him to have kept him around this long.  But do you feel she actually had a romantic connection with him or do you think she hesitated to eliminate him just because he was a really nice guy on his one-on-one date and then got a concussion on the group date?

William Holman: (Laughs) I was worried for Ames when he got the concussion. He's a great guy. Ames is like no other. He's by far the most interesting person I've ever met in my life.

I wish we just had a separate show for Ames so everybody could see really what a standup guy he is, but as far as Ashley's thought and what they had or anything -- when Ames would come back, he would act like he never got the chance to talk to her and nothing really happened.

But I saw his date, and they get along great. I don't if she -- there's something about the guy that draws you right in right away and you want to know more. So I think he got the concussion, but she didn't keep him around for sympathy or anything like that.


Like I said, there's a presence. There's something about when you're around Ames, you have to keep him around. There's more to know about the guy and still a ton more to find out about him.

Reality TV World: I know you already touched on this, but I want to clarify -- could you elaborate on what exactly Ben C. had told you guys when the dating topic was discussed and whether you thought he was just joking or being completely serious at the time?

William Holman: He was talking about specific online dating sites and I don't want to reveal those dating sites that he had discussed, but they were dating sites that he's used before and his words were, "After the show is over," he was "going to be able to clean up." To me, it didn't sit well with me, so I felt that she needed to know.

Reality TV World: Chris Harrison has said that Ashley wasn't in a good place during the two-on-one date and wasn't up for fighting for either you or Ben C. He's also said that Ashley was in such a bad mood that he felt neither J.P. or Ben F. -- who currently seem to be frontrunners -- would've even survived that date. What's your reaction to that and do you think you were maybe unfairly  eliminated because Ashley was just -- to quote Chris -- in a "cranky" mood?

William Holman: (Laughs) She may have been in a cranky mood, but I didn't get that from her when we were on the two-on-one date. I felt that we were having a good time -- well, we were trying to have a good time -- but the cranky mood? I didn't really see it. I know that there's editing that takes place, but I didn't get the opportunity to see that, and I don't know.


She may not have been in the mood to fight for me, and I can understand why, because I made her cry. To me, I didn't feel like I deserved anymore from her because of that.

Also in the call, William told reporters how he would describe his admitted "Peter Pan complex" and how that has changed, why he called Ben C. out for his dating comments and whether he regretted that decision later, who he thought was the perfect guy for Ashley out of the remaining bachelors, and how he would've reacted to Bentley's surprise return if he was still on the show.

What were your impressions of Bentley and what did you hear from the other guys in terms of what they thought about him?

William Holman: I actually roomed with his in the house, and nobody had anything bad to say about Bentley. Whenever I talked to Bentley, we would always talk about his daughter and that's all that was discussed. He never opened up and said the things that we heard on TV. He discussed that he was upset that it was Ashley, but there was never any of that kind of talk.

You essentially told Ashley you had a "Peter Pan complex." What part of that did you think would be attractive to a woman who has been going through years of training to be a dentist?

William Holman: I don't know. It wasn't -- for me, I just wanted her to know that I want to live life and still have fun throughout life. The way I said it probably didn't come across the best way, but I want to stay true to myself, and I don't want to try to be somebody else to make somebody happy. So, I wanted to be me, and if she didn't like me for being me, then unfortunately, it wasn't meant to be.

How do you think your two-on-one date with Ashley was going while you were on it? Did you think you were going to get a rose at the end of your dinner together?

William Holman: Being completely honest, I didn't feel that I would get a rose at the end of the two-on-one date. It was just one of those things where I was hoping to see her again -- go on a two-on-one date and we would see if we could rekindle those feelings that we had in Las Vegas, but the two-on-one date definitely didn't go as expected. If I could do it over again, I would -- even knowing that I would be sent home.

Did Ben C. really talk about his insights and why did you decide to bring that up to Ashley? Did you think he was insincere or were you just hoping to get him out of the way?

William Holman: I did feel like he was insincere. I didn't do it as a way to get him out of the way. Ben C. is a nice guy, but it was something that he did talk about. I wouldn't have made anything up like that. I'm not that kind of person, but I just felt like if she was questioning anyone's integrity or purpose on the show, that she should know.

Unfortunately, it's not like I have a phone and I can call her and say, "Hey, you know, one of the guys in the house, I don't feel is even here for you." So, the only time you get is on-camera, so it wasn't the best time, but it was kind of the only time. No matter what, if I told her, it would be assumed by everybody, so not the way I really wanted it to go down.

It was just me trying to warn her -- to let her know -- and I didn't know he was going to be sent home like right after I told her about that. I figured because of the roast and her giving me a second chance, that she would have sat down and talked with Ben C. a little bit more about it to find out if he was joking about it, why he was joking that way.

At the roast, you were really roasting Ashley. Was there something you saw in her that made you think she could handle that?

William Holman: Earlier that day, I thought she was very secure in herself, so I didn't watch the past season to know that she really had any of those insecurities, and for myself, I'd never been up onstage before. It has been a dream of mine, but unfortunately I got up there and I was just scared ridiculous thinking about having to be up onstage, and I took it the wrong way.

Why I thought that it was appropriate, I don't know. I thought, "roast," and I wasn't even thinking about the outcome. It was just a little bit of immaturity in me still left. I don't know -- it was a bad idea.

I figured if all the guys were going to roast each other, why not roast her, and maybe I was thinking that I was trying to win over the guys' approval and be friends with the guys because I spent to much time with them. It was definitely a bad move.

Do you think because of the roast you and Ashley started cooling off afterwards?

William Holman: I don't know, particularly. After she met Bentley, there was a different look that she had and it was a different feel when we hung out after that. So, I think that she just turned a lot of her focus towards Bentley, but then after the roast obviously, it was definitely not there anymore. But I was hoping to get it back, you know?

Did you get a chance to talk to Ben C. before he left to explain things to him or what would you say to him if you could talk to him now?

William Holman: If I could talk to him, I would definitely let him know that I owe him a lot for how it came out. It didn't look the best, and it comes down to the wire there. You don't get to be out and about in the world and get outside of the house that much. It's one of those things where I guess I just was getting some frustration from being stuck in the house.

I really like Ben C., and I think my frustration with just really wanting to get out again and having a date with her took over. I like the guy a lot, and he didn't deserve that, and it was a cheap shot, and I definitely owe him a lot -- I know I just said that. (Laughs)

What was going through your mind when you were making all those wedding plans with Ashley on your first date. Wasn't that intimidating?

William Holman: Yeah, I mean, I thought that I'd be planning a wedding at the end of this, not the very first date. It was unreal. You hop in a Maserati, you get in a private jet, and you're heading to Vegas.

You think, "What am I going to be doing? Are we going to go party it up? What's going on?" When we get there, it's, "Let's go look at wedding cakes, wedding rings, and go through the process of getting married. It was very intimidating. (Laughs) I think I handled myself well, but I was definitely nervous -- maybe not going to be another first date I go on.

Is stand-up comedy still your dream profession now that you've gotten a little experience onstage?

William Holman: You know, yeah. I did the roast, and it was my very first time onstage, and it definitely wasn't the finest moment that I've had. But it's funny because I've had a lot of comics reach out to me and tell me that I have raw talent and they would like to see with training and some practice what I can do.

So, it's something that I definitely still want to do whether it's stand-up or some sketch comedy, but I love comedy. It's something that is a passion of mine -- to just make people laugh everyday -- I definitely will continue to do something along that route.

You seemed so uncomfortable after the roast occurred from Ashley's reaction to your routine and you seemed to stay that way in the house afterwards. Do you think subconsciously you might have sabotaged the two-on-one date so you could be done with all of it?

William Holman: I don't know. That very well could be. Like I said, that was another time where it was not my finest moment -- to sit there and say what Ben C. has been saying in the house and sabotage the date -- I don't know. It was really a tough feeling to go through where you feel like you have this opportunity with Ashley and potentially going down to the final one.

You just have that feeling and after the roast, I really lost a lot of that because of myself. I felt like, "How dare a guy treat a girl like that and make her cry? How dare I even have the opportunity to continue to move forward with this," because it just felt like I hurt her so much that there was no getting back from it.

If you had been in Hong Kong when Bentley returned, what would have been your reaction?

William Holman: We all felt like Bentley would come back, because we saw the connection that they had or we thought they had. But if I was in Hong Kong and Bentley returned, I would be happy to see Bentley, but I'd also question why he was coming back now and why he didn't stick around. It would be troublesome to know that the girl you're trying to go after is still hooked on another guy that left weeks ago.

If you were on the show when Bentley returned, would you consider leaving the show or how would you have approached the situation? It seems like the guys got very upset based on previews for next week's episode.

William Holman: Yeah, I didn't see the previews at the end of the last episode to see how they were. I'm sure they were upset, because they want to move forward too. I don't know if I would -- I don't know if I would have left. I don't know.

That's such a tough thing because if I was there, I might have been feeling, "Why am I going through all this if she's just still stuck on Bentley? Why can't we just move forward?" But maybe she is doing it for closure. Maybe he's coming out to apologize. Everybody deserves a second chance or an explanation, and maybe that's what he's doing on this next week's episode.

I know you've mentioned a few names already, but who do you think would be the best for Ashley? Who is the one guy you would pick for her?

William Holman: The one guy I would pick for Ashley is an outstanding guy in the house. He's awesome. I mean, he's just a true friend. J.P. is like no other. J.P. is a great guy, and if I could pick a guy for her, I would pick J.P.

Do you think Ashley might steer towards J.P.?

William Holman: I could see her going that way. I mean, I saw their interactions and I saw the look on her face when they got to be around each other, and it's that look that two people have when they're really in love. That was tough to see that and continue moving forward when you make friends with someone in the house like J.P., and then to just sit there and still go on dates with a girl that he's that into.

Was it obvious to you while you were on the show that Ashley was stuck on Bentley? Did the guys see that, that she was unable to truly open up to the because of Bentley?

William Holman: No. It was, at least for myself -- it didn't look it with the other guys, but -- we did not see that connection. We saw it after they got back from the Jabbawockeez dance. Bentley was in a good mood. He was in high spirits.

We saw her reaction to Bentley at the roast, and she just lit up. We didn't feel that -- we didn't know until we watched the show that he felt that way. It was a shock to know that there was that kind of connection that they had, but we didn't know that she was so stuck on him.

Relating back to your "Peter Pan complex," do you feel that you've grown up from this experience, and do you think that when you go out on a date, that's going to be something you say to a woman?

William Holman: I've had some girls that have approached me and said that they were someone who wanted to still be a kid, but I don't know. Maybe I'm scared of growing up and that's what it is, but I would say -- I only watched the very first episode and saw bits and pieces of other parts of the other episodes, and I've heard plenty from my friends -- but I like to stay the person I am and not change.

Of course the older you get, the girls are looking for someone who is a little bit more mature. I just want to stay young at heart, and so I don't want to get the "Peter Pan complex" or anything like that.

Young at heart, but obviously grow up, because I do want to have children and that's something that I've been wanting to have for years now. I know that I've matured from seeing myself on the show and I know that I still have some work to do.

Since you want to be a professional stand-up comedian, was one of the reasons you went on the show to see how you felt in front of the camera?

William Holman: Actually, no. For me, I didn't want to use the -- obviously the show can be a stepping stone, but I didn't want to use it that way. For me, what's more important to me than anything is love -- finding that true love and finding that person that you can spend the rest of your life with.

So, for me and knowing it was Ashley, I was extremely happy about that. I felt like she was someone who I could have that connection with.

In the back of my mind, I didn't really think that anything like that was going to happen, and to have the roast, I was like, "Wow, I'm glad I'm a part of this date," but I didn't say to myself, "What's the possibilities that could come from this? I don't need Ashley," or anything like that. It was -- I don't know. I really didn't feel that way or think that way coming into the show.

How did everyone get along in the house?

William Holman: There was not really any drama behind the scenes. All of us guys, except for the end there where I threw Ben C. under the bus, aside from that, I feel like we all got along really well and there wasn't too much of an issue. Even the mask, we all got along with Jeff, just fine.

It was -- and we got along with Bentley great. It was shocking to see the show, but for the most part, not too much drama. We got rained out in Phukett, so we got to be stuck with each other in the same room for awhile while it was raining during monsoon season, but none of us really had an issue. We played games and just talked and it was great.






About The Author: Elizabeth Kwiatkowski