Trista & Ryan's Wedding - Episode 3 Summary

'The.Wedding.of.the.Decade' By greeneyes

How it all began

Chris seems to be telling us that this is the most anticipated wedding since Charles and Di’s,(Um, maybe that’s not the best analogy in the world to use-look what happened to their marriage, but then again with all the bachelor breakups of late, maybe it’s the perfect analogy.) however, I can’t see him over the sea of pink chairs have engulfed him. Ah, I have finally located him among all the pink, and he tells us that the wedding will take place at Lodge at Rancho Mirage. (Insert your own joke here) He continues to tell us what we already know: It’s fitting that the wedding take place in front of the cameras, because 30 million people watched that memorable moment when Ryan proposed to her. All of a sudden I have this sinking feeling that we’re about to be assaulted with recrap footage. Faster then you can say “Pink” we’re shown the.most.beautiful.marriage.proposal.ever.seen.by.America. Then we’re back to the Rancho where there are people working round the clock to make sure that everything is pink, pink and more pink. Now it’s back to more recraps: Nyc, Maui, Trista trying on wedding gowns, and well, to get the full nauseated version of what happened there read Bebo and Amai’s excellent summaries: Bebo or Amai

If I tap my shoes together three times and say “pink, pink, pink” will it take me away from these recraps? Somebody must’ve heard me, because all of a sudden we’re out of recraps and are being shown how real (one million dollars worth real) their love for each other is. Arggh! The tapping of the shoes backfired, because now for what seems like an eternity Trista & Ryan are holding each other and saying again: “How.They.Were.Meant.To.Be.Together. and that they knew from the first day that they saw each other that loved each other, and yadda, yadda, yadda.

Finally, we are put out of our misery when I hear Chris somewhere in the background saying: “Next up: “The.Wedding.Of.The.Decade.” We’re back from commercials, and Chris is saying something, but again, it’s hard to find him among all of the pink roses that are surrounding him. I’m getting excited now, because we’re again being shown the chairs that are all set up for the wedding, but, wait, what’s this? This picture of Trista and Ryan looks awfully familiar-that’s because, no, I must be seeing things, because it looks like the episode of the Bachelorette that I wrote my first real summary for and before I know what’s happened the whole bag of popcorn I’m holding is being throw at the tv - because it is an episode from the Bachlorette!!! It is the group date when Ryan and Trista saw 50,000 thousand weddings in progress (ok, slight exaggeration) and they.knew.it.was.fate. To read how they fell in love that day read this summary: Official Ep.2 Bachelorette Summary

We’re told by Trista: “My life has turned into a fairy tale. I never thought my life would turn out this way.

Mirage of Bachelorette scenes: Sea world, Seattle, meeting Trista’s parents, Trista telling Ryan that she chose him, Ryan asking her to marry him, tears, tears, and more tears.

I’ve been clicking my heals together really hard for the last half an hour, and it finally worked because Shazam! Chris is telling us how for months now, people have been working really hard to make this wedding be as pink as it can possibly be-and we get to see how it all happened!-we even get to meet the people who put it all together! We get to see so much and meet so many people in fact, that it would be impossible for Chris to do it all from his Royal perch-so he has a little help from, no, I must still have butter in my eyes from throwing the popcorn across the room, because it looks like Prince Slick (better known as Charlie) Search for Prince Charming wait, it is Prince Slick from the Bachlorette and some media-whore wannabe producer named Stephanie who have the honors of showing us how this is no ordinary wedding.

As soon as the first question to Prince Slick leaves Chris’s mouth, I begin to realize why Prince Slick has been asked to be a co-host. It is to show the viewers how Ryan.was.meant.to.be.for.Trista.

ADVERTISEMENT

Chris: How weird is it for you? It could’ve been you?

Prince Slick: I don’t mind Chris, because: They.were.meant.to.be.together. I’m just honored to be apart of the.wedding.of.the.decade.

Chris: Why don’t you go check on Ryan?

Prince Slick: Whatever you say, oh wise one.

Prince Slick to Ryan: You’re so relaxed....you don’t even have your tux on. Aren’t you nervous?

Ryan: No, I’m not nervous, because Trista and I.were.meant.to.be.together.

Chris to Prince Slick: Ryan doesn’t look all that relaxed to me, Ryan looks like he has the Deer in Headlights look. Oh.My.Heck! This is proof that the powers that be at ABC must read our board, because I’m sure that both Bebo and Amai coined that term for Ryan long before tonight.
When Chris introduces the other co-host Stephanie, (known from here on out as DAW wannabe) he tries to convince us that they became friends while she was the producer of the Bachelorette. (If you believe that I have some swamp land in Florida to sell you.)

Chris to Daw wannabe: Do you believe it’s real?

Daw wannabe: “I had my doubts, but I was there from the very first Rose Ceremony, and it’s obvious they.were.meant.to.be.together.

Chris: What’s going on in the bridal suite?

Daw wannabe: Everything’s ready to go…Trista’s in her gown, bossing people around, waiting for the helicopters to arrive, you know the usual stuff that brides do before weddings.

Page Index: 1 2 3

Continue Reading >>>