My Big Fat Obnoxious Fiance - Episode 3 Summary

'Bread Soufflé, Prom Dates, and the Yoga Fart' By MTW1961

Before we get started, some general analysis of the state of reality TV is in order. There have been several times during the Reality TV craze where viewers have wondered how much lower the networks would stoop. Many thought Cupid was the low point. Some TV stations wouldn’t even air it. For others, Married By America was the ultimate in tasteless TV production.

Along comes MBFOF. Will this show put the others rest to shame? After all, this time the goal is to terrorize unsuspecting outsiders, YOUR PARENTS, into thinking you are making the worst mistake of your life. At least with the other shows, the participants were willing and knew what they were getting into. This got me to thinking about some other possible Reality show concepts that would be right up Fox’s alley. Network executives – feel free to use my ideas; all I ask is an attribution in the credits.

Here are my two favorite reality show ideas:

But I Want to be a Woman - A married heterosexual man must convince his wife he has decided to undergo a sex change. To win the ultimate prize, she must agree to stay married to him, proving that love truly conquers all.
Don’t Look Now,But Dad’s in a Coma - Father and child team up to pull the ultimate practical joke on Mom. Child must convince Mom that Dad is in a coma resulting from an auto accident, and likely will never recover. To win the prize, they must obtain her approval to pull the plug before the week is up!

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Anyway, on to the Episode 3 Summary:

Last week on MBFOF –

* The bride to be tries on her wedding dress
* Randi has come up with a list of improvements for Steve – an organized girl, that one
* A visit to the sex therapist makes the prudish Randi uncomfortable;
* And finally, Randi’s friend Anna shows up for dinner at the estate, which is where were left hanging

Randi’s friend Anna has arrived at the estate. She will be the happy couple’s guest for dinner that evening. Randi’s job tonight is to convince Anna that in the course of the last few weeks she has fallen in love with Steve, and that he is the ONE. After anticipating this moment for the last week, Steve makes his grand entrance, joining Randi on the patio where dinner awaits the three of them. As he enters, his walk and his mannerisms remind me of Chris Farley. In fact, he’s built just like Chris Farley. Maybe Steve is his younger brother. Steve greets Anna “Hello, Anna best friend”, and there is definitely a look on Anna’s face. Is it disbelief, fright, or the memory of her in-flight meal? There’s just no way to tell for sure.

Off camera Steve comments that Randi fears he’ll do something stupid. Of course her fears are justified as Steve manages to knock a wineglass off the table shortly after being seated. It looks so natural I almost wonder if was, indeed, an accident. That is professional acting! Randi comments that, of course, “Steve was Steve”, and we also learn that Anna was suspicious the whole time.

Dinner tonight is fondue, and this is good because fondue is just inherently funny. Food on sticks has many comedic possibilities, and the fondue gear makes the table quite cluttered with plates of food, cooking implements, and of course, the hot fondue itself. Steve makes the most of the opportunity to play with his food while trying to appear interested in Anna. He asks Anna how long she and Randi have known each other, but isn’t listening to her answer. He’s quite preoccupied with the fondue – it’s like his personal adult-sized happy meal toy. He’s making funny faces and funny noises while Anna tries to tell him that she and Randi have known each other since the third grade. Steve waves his fondue sword towards Anna who exclaims “it’s gonna burn me”, and I don’t know why, but the way she says this strikes me as really funny. Steve has moved on, he’s now trying to get top secret information from the skewered shrimp, saying “we have ways of making you talk”. (LOL) Randi is trying to capture his attention without Anna seeing, and givers him a signal to dial it down a bit. Steve, his mouth stuffed with shrimp fondue asks Anna if Randi’s parents will like him. Anna starts to reply, searching for the right words, and conveniently, we get a commercial break, which makes the suspense absolutely unbearable.

What will Anna say? I can’t wait to find out.
Luckily, my TiVo lets me skip quickly through the commercials, and seconds later we get Anna’s reply. She says that yes, Randi’s parents will like him. After all, he’s open, with a big smile and a big happy face. BIG does seem to be a recurring theme in her opinion of him. Privately Anna confesses that Randi’s parents will be shocked! Fortunately, dinner is over. Randi can’t wait to see her best friend leave. See is starting to really feel awful about the deception she’s playing on her friends and family, but hey, the money will change their lives, so it’s all good.

Part 2 – The Answer is: “Yoga Fart”.

Question: Name two words never before used together in the course of a conversation.

Randi tells us that Steve’s body is big and out of shape. Fortunately, Randi apparently believes that he’ll be trim and fit as a fiddle after one good half-hour yoga workout. She starts him with some basic yoga moves/positions/poses, or whatever you call them. Steve bends his body to the right and wonders aloud if his “fat is supposed to fold in two right here?” Heh! Steve lets us in on a secret- they have a fart gag planned for Randi. Those of us who were once fifth-grade boys are expecting the artificial fart under the arm, but Steve is far too sophisticated for that. The show has obviously budgeted for such gags, and this one starts with a stink bomb in his pocket. He must activate it while she’s turned the other way. He bends and twists, and unleashes a ghastly sound It is a sound we all fear, (especially in a high rise elevator…..…when there’s only one other occupant……..and the sound is coming from you!) He admits “I totally farted” and the words are captioned on the screen just in case you’re not sure you heard him correctly. A mortified look crosses his face and Steve flees across the yard towards the house, professionally displaying new emotions – urgency, astonishment, and embarrassment. I must admire his acting ability. Randi can’t believe she has just seen a grown man have an accident in his pants.

Claudia makes her weekly cameo appearance (she actually appears several times this episode, which is more than most reality show hosts get). For some reason, I’m thinking there’s something unusual about the way Claudia looks tonight, but I can’t put my finger on it just yet. Anyway, she’s there to give Randi a little good news for once. Randi is going to give Steve a makeover.

First stop is the hair stylist, and Steve knows exactly what he wants. He asks the stylist to shorten the sides but keep it long on top. That Randi is a sharp babe and while she may lack common sense, she does have fashion sense. She vetoes the mullet and Steve acquiesces. Randi chooses a well-groomed look for him. Next up on the agenda is the removal of Steve’s back hair. I’m not sure exactly how they did it, as my hands were covering my eyes, but it sounded painful. Steve admits there was very little acting involved during this scene. Randi, however, is clearly enjoying his pain and admits as much to the camera. I’m wondering if Randi would feel better about their relationship if Steve called her “Mistress Randi” and wore a rubber body suit with a studded leather collar. The final stop for their makeover is a clothing store where Mistress Randi picks out a classy outfit for him to wear. Randi says that Steve is looking good; much more like a real guy she would date, and I must say I agree.

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