The Surreal Life 2 - Episode 5 Summary

'Da Nudie Bar' By dabo

So, okay, that morning the Surrealists awoke. Traci, fully hung-over from the naked-optional BBQ, went to the front door to retrieve the Surrealist Times.

Big news, they would be be getting a phone call, mondo important!

Vince Neal from SL1 was on the line, told them it was time for a road trip! He and Lea would be waiting for them in Palm Springs.

So, they all piled into the Surrealist Van, Tammy Faye with her requisite fully-packed for every contingency bag. And then they rode... and rode... and rode.

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Suddenly, Eric realized they would be passing by one of his favorite places to eat, the farmbarnrestaurant, so they decided to stop for some real chow. Raise your hand if you were surpsrised that Paunch knew a great place to stop to eat along the way!

Somehow or other one of the patrons, and there were tons of them, had the Madonna Sex Book featuring Rob Vanilla Ice. Can we say "Set Up." Yep, that was way too obvious. Rob got into scoping the photos though, he and Madonna were like tight or something for eight months. Yeah, the Madonna Sex Book, exactly what you expect to find in Eric's favorite eats barn.

After signing autographs and eating Lord knowns what, the Surrealists were back on the road to Palm Springs. And that was where they met up with Vince from Surreal Life 1 and his Las Vegas squeeze Lea, Woo-Hoo! Lea is blonde and stacked, way good TV.

So, they met Vince and Lea, they checked in at the Palm Springs resort, and then Barry their host came out from behind the counter, showing schlong. Big surprise, Surreal Peeps, it's a nudist resort!

Tammy Faye, who made a career of ruining her mascara on TV, bolted out the door, crying. Well, who could blame her? She unexpectedly saw some schlong. BLASPHEMY! Not right, anyway, in Tammy Faye World.

The others went out and reassured Tammy Faye they understood, then they went back into the nudist colony after she had crossed the street to be in the respectable hotel. Hey, let's see some tit!

I see Naked Unattractive People!

And you thought Tammy crying would be the highlight of the episode. Silly you.

After the Surrealists settled in they were invited to compete in a shirts vs. skins game of volleyball. If they beat the nudists they got lobster off-campus, if not they had to get nekkie and settle for nekkie cafe fare. Woo-Hoo!'

Honestly, I couldn't have cared less, but then they played volleyball. Eric, Ron and Vince (subbing for Tammy) went topless to earn 1.5 points, then Vince's Lea-babe (who didn't play dangit) went topless to score them two points.

Okay, I am definitely in the market for the uncencored version, thank you Lea! Silcone, who cares, she rocks!

Ron promised to go bottomless if the Surreal babes would play along. But Trish and Traci didn't want to compete with Lea, who could blame them. Dang, Lea gots some bodacious ta-tas!

So, the game went on. The surrealists might have won, but the babes were too chicken to score nekkie points.

Later on they ate at the nudie camp, and at long last Trish (wined-up ) stripped down. True to his word, Ron followed suit and exposed his coup-de-grace, the Cadillac of cocks. Traci, of course, balked, on account of she is engaged and all, and for some reason she has decided perv Ron should never see her bodacious ta-tas.

Later on they visited a karaoke bar. Rob Vanilla Ice Van Winkle suspected a set-up, but who cares. After much prompting, and Eric making a fool of himself singing "Celebrate," Vanilla Ice performed Ice Ice Baby! Totally a Fonzie-approved Cool thing, the crowd went wild! It was good to see him get past the image thing for once.

Later on Eric went into directional motor-cop mode in order to get drunk Trish, Traci and Ron to the Jacuzi. Eric is totally cool and comfortable with being the one true celeb of the group who can laff at himself. The drunks in the Jacuzi, totally entertaining. Traci and Tammi, drunk off their asses... 0oookay, we've seen this in every episode before. Traci has no problem going bottomless, exposing the bodacious ta-tas is somehow a no-no. I don't get it but oh well.

Next week, the big good-byes, and stay tuned for WB's High School Reuinion 2: Texas CatFights!

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