The Joe Schmo Show 2 - Episode 3 Summary

'Furry Sacks and Boxes, Spankings and Shocking Twists' By woeisme1

Last time on Mo Schmo:

Ambrosia has become the bitch she was hired to play, telling Ingrid she is being paranoid and ruining the game for the rest of them, the falcon with suicidal tendencies had a really bad day as well as a severe migraine from all the head trauma after repeatedly crashing face first into the glass doors, Tim was distracted by Cammy’s upper body assets and Ernies wick was left unlit, casting him out of the house and Piper’s picks due to her shallowness at not being able to conjure up a good fantasy with a guy who was a little overweight.

First up is our morning meeting where Ingrid is discussed and how they think the show is still manageable even though she seems to be onto them at times. Ambrosia is told to turn up the bitchiness, Eleanor has lost her locket and is to get emotional about it since she is cast as the weepy one and to keep it real as Tim is still there playing the game. Added bonus was getting to see Brian, of pixilated boob fame from Joe Schmo One, in the meeting, which isn’t probably all that surprising since he is one of the executive producers, but still how can one not be happy to see Brian “the buddy”?

Our contestants commence to morning greetings, Ingrid giving Tim a hug and kiss and wishing him Happy Birthday. She tells him she made him a card and circulated it , but wait, Eleanor has lost her necklace. Let the drama begin. She says maybe she lost it in her bed. Ambrosia, being the bitch she is says hold the presses while Eleanor goes to look for it or she may freak out on them. Standing behind Eleanor, Tim points to his head like he going to make the universal sign for crazy but stops in time and just scratches his head instead.

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Tim swears they will find it since it couldn’t have grown little locket legs and skidaddled, thereby deducing it has to be there somewhere. Good job Sherlock. Everyone searches and the drama causes Ambrosia to become even more bitchy.

Over a meal they discuss the previous evenings shenanigans with Austin and Cammy doing the vertical mambo in the grapes. This leads to a debate on what to call Cammys “girls”, boobs or breasts? The final count was boobs 4, breasts 5 and Cammy was talking so fast she started to say her real name. Oops. Leave it to the blonde (reminiscent of Molly in Schmo One) to mix real life with the fake one she is to play. Oh, that’s right she is Cammy, the moron.

Derek enters, carrying Bryces mutant cannibalistic frog. Uh oh. Piper is returning it since it grosses her out and is unable or unwilling to care for it. Ingrid tries to be nice to “Cruiser” and says Piper just doesn’t know how to feed it, showing some compassion for our resident stalker and creepy guy. Derek informs them that this evening will be a pearl necklace ceremony with just the ladies in attendance, sorry fellas. They go back to discussing the frog from hell.

We now take you to a commercial (or 8) break. Taco Bell, yada yada, Coca Cola C2, blah blah blah, Blockbuster, brak, brak, brak, Match.com for losers who can’t find a date, Finish Line, whatever, Sam Adams beer, okay, a local commercial for Zippy’s, aren’t I the lucky one?, Time Warner, enough already.

Back to the show. The gang assembles outside where Derek informs them it is said that the fastest way to a lovers heart is though their stomachs (aiming about 6” high with this group I think) and so they are to play a game called “Taste my Treats” whereby the women are given furry covered boxes and the men furry covered sacks. They are to pick recipe cards listing Piper and Austin’s favorite dishes and show their culinary skills. Once completed they will place their dishes in their sacks and boxes for Piper and Austin to taste, blindfolded. Ingrid loses it every time Derek says sacks and boxes, she can’t help it. Her mind is in the gutter with mine. I like her. The winners will win a night out of the house at one of California’s most exclusive restaurants. It is rigged for Tim to win the date off grounds with Piper.

Cammy picks the first card and gets tossed salad, big culinary skills needed here, but she is blonde so it may be a challenge. Ingrid loses it again. Eleanor gets a banana split, Ingrid gets pasta with clam sauce and says “something fishy” (gee, ya think?), Ambrosia selects warm cherry pie. Now for the guys: TJ gets mixed nuts, Ingrid is in hysterics, but comments “couldn’t be more appropriate”, Bryce is to make meatballs with Marinara sauce, Gerald chooses pigs in a blanket and our Tim gets fish tacos, mmmm. It’s off to the kitchen

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