Race To The Altar - Episode 1 Summary

'Entering Las Vegas' By Kid Sauerkraut

Here is a show with potential. We have eight engaged couples already
stressing over wedding plans and, if the producers do their jobs right,
they will increase the stress levels to the point of ending a few
relationships.

Our teams arrive at a luxurious hotel in Las Vegas. Soon they meet our
host, Lisa Dergen. According to her bio she is a sportscaster and I
should know who she is, but I don't. Then again I didn't know who Julie
Chen was either. Lisa explains the rules then it is off to their
rooms. An advertisement for the hotel ensues as we watch the couples
oohing and aahing over their rooms.

Let's meet a few of our couples, shall we.

We have Susan and Coyt. Susan let's us know that her parents, uptight,
I mean strict Southern Baptists, don't know that she and Coyt are living
together and wouldn't approve if they did know. Susan, just because you
are sharing a hotel room doesn't mean you are living together, so you
should keep your mouth shut (we will see this is a continuing problem
for Susan). Also, I am sure that Southern Baptists are not watching
reality TV shows on Wednesday night or any other night, so your secret
is probably safe.

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Susan and Coyt want to win so they can have the wedding of their choice,
not her parent's choice which would prohibit dancing and drinking.

Cindy and Chris have a problem of their own. There is only one bed.
Cindy had asked for other arrangements because she didn't want her
parents seeing her share a bed with Chris. Susan's parents wish they
had a daughter like Cindy instead of a daughter who will burn in hell.
Chris is not sympathetic to his future wife and she stomps off to sleep
on the couch. After they are married I am sure Chris will be spending
many nights on the couch.

Ethan and Carolyn are the oldest couple in the competition. She is a
urologist and he is a chiropractor. It makes me wonder. When she comes
home from work and he asks if she wants to go to bed does she say, "If I
see one more today..."

There is also Scott and Jessica, but let's not waste too much time
getting to know them.

There are no gay couples. In my opinion NBC makes a big mistake by
ignoring a major demographic group. Maybe Race for the Altar 2 will be
held in Canada. No couple has yet claimed to virgins.

The couples have their first competition (each week there will be two
events - a physical challenge and a relationship game). The physical
challenge has each couple suspended 100 feet in the air. The couples
must hold on to each other (didn't I see this on Fear Factor?). The
couple that hangs on the longest becomes the first Power Couple.

The competition begins. It seems that Andre, being the strongest,
should be able to outlast the others. However, Susan clings to Coyt like
a repressed Southern Baptist who has snuck away to Vegas with her
boyfriend and they win.

That night couples get together. They talk of "commitments". Everyone
is trying to make "commitments" with other couples. Not alliances. Not
pacts. Not agreements. Only "commitments". I hate this show.

Pay attention to this next part. It is important for understanding what
happens later.

Coyt and Susan made a commitment with Andy and Becca. Both couples have
also spoken to Ethan and Carolyn and Tonya and Andre. For Some reason
Coyt and Susan felt it was OK for them to do this, but not Andy and
Becca. Coyt and Susan now believe they can't trust Andy and Becca.
Since Coyt and Susan are already a Power Couple it doesn't matter this
week (or does it???).

At the relationship game April arrived with an eye patch. She had
scratched her cornea while applying mascara or eyeliner or something and
had to be taken to the Eye Clinique. Vinny, in a show of support for
his bride to be, wore his own eye patch giving him an early lead in the
Mr. Empathy competition.

The game itself was a poor knock off of The Newlywed Game. The women
had to guess the answers the men had given to a series of questions. It
came down to a tie breaker. The final question was "Men, would you like
for your wife to allow you to make the final decision on all major
financial decisions?" I thought to myself, "Who is going to miss
this?" Jessica and Scott, that's who. Becca gives the correct answer
and it's down to Susan and Coyt. Susan says yes, Coyt would like for
her to allow him to make all major financial decisions. Don't all
Southern Baptist women defer to their men? Coyt is too smart for his
own good and chose no. Upon hearing his answer Susan gets angry.

Becca tries to cheer Susan up by telling her not to worry because she
can't get voted out this week. Susan reacts like a Southern Baptist who
just found out her daughter was living with a man prior to marriage and
let's Andy and Becca know that she knows they were going to vote her and
Coyt out. Coyt immediately knows that Susan had screwed up.

Back in their room Coyt asks Susan, "Do yo know why no one else said
anything? Because they are not stu... trying to make enemies." Wise
beyond his years, that Coyt.

The Power Couples meet to decide who to vote out (or not invite to the
next round). Susan didn't say much as Coyt tried to convince Andy and
Becca that it was all a misunderstanding and that their commitment is
sound.

At the Altar Ceremony (so named because one couple is sacrificed) Lisa
read the names and we said good bye to Scott and Jessica.

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