Sports Illustrated Swimsuit Model Search - Episode 4 Summary

'The Meaning of Life: Runway and Boobs' By Ricky

Shaaa right, I’m not thinking straight yet, take a look at Jenna in a white bikini and covered in diamonds OMG!

Laying around the house as usual we learn some interesting facts about the girls. Shannon says that she clicks with Stacy because they are both Christians. She also was talking to her boyfriend on the phone and says that they won't have sex until they are married. She tells her finance to keep praying for her. Lord please help Shannon get the $1 million dollars and a deal to appear half naked in a magazine. I know that’s the path you’ve chosen for her. Although, I’m thinking God has more important issues to deal with, like Stacy’s hangnail problem.

Also, feet bother Shannon - they are "gross". She won’t even take her shoes off in the house until she goes to bed. The other girls accuse her of having OCD.

That will be a good combo with anorexia and bulimia. Alicia says that social services removed her from her parents, she was in and out of families and in and out of schools. but tearfully claims "I hate talking about it". No you don't. As you told us last week the show’s all about you. 

Apparently Nautica is sponsoring the show this week since "nautica" was plastered on all of their behinds throughout the show.

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The girls go to a beach where Pro surfer Malia Jones informs them that they will have a power board race. They must lay face down on a surf board and paddle their way around a marker in the water. Shannon is scared of the water/waves. I'm not sure why. Her boobs would definitely keep her afloat but she wears a life jacket just incase. She reveals that she had to be rescued from a wave pool in an amusement park once. No further details were given on this ordeal. Maybe she’ll talk about it when she does Playboy (if that’s God plan for her).

Somehow Shannon wins the competition which means she wins the modeling pass and a diamond ring. Stacy says "I want diamonds! I really, really, really do!", but Shannon opts to give the second modeling pass and the extra diamond necklace to Jenna rather than her friend Stacy. Only God knows why. Jenna gives "big credit" to Shannon for an excellent job (me heart Jenna and her silly talk).

Back at the house, Supermodel Petra and her assistant show up to teach the girls runway. The assistant recommends that the girls pretend that they are “a girl in the meadow enjoying the sunshine” as a runway technique. These deep philosophical thoughts are too much for Jenna to handle. Poor Jenna struggles but makes a life decision: "I would like to learn more about how to do runway. I want to be one of those girls that can walk like that." What high goals she has. I'm sure Runway 101 is a course at Bimbo U.

For the actual runway competition the judges say:

• Stacy - like her attitude, her smile is more controlled and not as big, glides on the runway. One of the judges says that she has no boobs but since SI is a tasteful magazine this shouldn’t be a problem.

• Jenna - she's holding back, but has learned to pose her face better. Her breast enlargements bothers one of the judges whose "tired of being bombarded with boobs". That was one of the female judges who said this of course, you'll never hear a guy say that.

• Alicia - she has that mystery and danger thing down

• Shannon - too controlled, not natural, nothing behind her eyes. Not natural ? Wearing a bikini, diamonds, and high heels, strutting down a plexiglas runway in front of a crowd of people, three of whom will decide your future. Come on now what’s not natural about that.

Back at the house the girls have some deep talk about marriage. Shannon’s parents have been married 25 years. Her grandparents 64 years. Alicia somehow thinks that the other girls having a more stable home life than her is a distinct advantage for appearing half naked in a magazine.

Elimination time at the LA Coliseum.

Jenna wishes she had some "non-tear pills".

I'm sure after she gets her PhD from Harvard Medical School she'll invent such a pill. That is…if modeling doesn't work out.

• Stacy - has come a long way. Has to still work on that smile needs to learn to be a model now but she made the cut.

• Alicia - has followed the judges critiques, you were the "saggy azz" girl but has worked on her body. Don't turn into a diva (um…too late I think). She makes the cut.

• Shannon - always seems to come through, she needs to relax though, too programmed like a robot, but she made the cut.

• Jenna - no variety, still too "pinup" and "needs to grow up" and Jenna…"we're dropping you".

Jenna takes it well. "Like they said I had the best body here. I mean isn't that what Sport's Illustrated wants. I mean it's kind of dumb on their part. Those other girls aren't exactly fit and toned". Poor thing. There's always pinup.

So then there were three. Alicia, Stacy, and Shannon’s cannons are off to Bora Bora. 

And soon we the viewers will get to vote online to determine who the real winner is.

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