Hit Me Baby One More Time - Episode 5 Summary

'Hit Me Baby One Last Time' By Flairmarq

Welcome to the season finale of “Hit Me Baby One More Time.” They saved the last people they could get — I mean the best for last. As per usual, our host (hopefully for the final time) is Vernon “I am not Seacrest but just as annoying” Kay. Glass Tiger won the online voting from last week.

First up is Juice Newton.  The last time we heard Juice her song “Just Call Me Angel of the Morning” was sampled by Shaggy (so yes, she is still getting royalties.) She is now in San Diego, CA taking care of her own personal zoo of a home. You name it, she has it. But she's also still touring a hundred days a year.

Her first song was “Playing with the Queen of Hearts.” The Juice looks better than she did when she released the song, look more MILF than ever. Singing wise, she hasn’t changed a bit, which is a good thing. It’s too bad they don’t have more country artists on this show.

Later, she did “Pieces of Me” by Ashlee Simpson. No lip syncing this time, all her. She sang the song an octave lower and more disconnected. Still harmonic, but -- sorry to say this -- I like the original better.

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Next up is Animotion.  The last time we heard Animotion, they were reunited by VH1’s “Bands Reunited” (aka where HBOMT finds their bands.) They are now in Portland, OR and Fresno, CA raising kids. The two in Fresno are married and learning to flying. The other member in Portland is a graphic designer and promoting his son’s band.

Their first song with “Obsession”. The guy singer looked like a reality show host, and the female had a funky hair due — B 52’s meet punk. It was a good karaoke performance, but not good for being themselves.  Nice choreography though.

Their second song was “Days Gone By” by Dirty Vegas. It was the same words, different music. More Latin oriented beats. Funky and cool. Pretty good. Not much sing though. More rapping.

Last time we heard of Shannon — wait. Who is she? This is the first time I have never heard of the artist. Well, she is out of White Stone, NY. Working on a new CD and loving her classic Lincoln Continental.

She did her hit “Let the Music Play.”   I have never heard this song, which means a lot considering I am a music expert. A little breathy on the vocals, but ok. Had some good dancers on stage. She did a push-up dance move on stage but I would be more impressed if she did a worm.

She then did. “Foolish” by Ashanti.   More melodic and smooth this time, a lot better than her hit. A bit back-up singer heavy though. Still a great performance.

Last time we heard from PM Dawn, they were trying to hit on Christina Applegate (listen close to their first song and you’ll get it.) Damn Christina came a long way since then. Now PM Dawn is located in Howell, NJ. Raising kids and collecting albums -- that’s about it.

They did their soothing hit “Set a Drift of Memory Bliss.” Prince Be had some problems moving and no dreads — cornrows instead. They had a hollar back guy there. Still pretty good but the hollar back-up wasn’t needed.

They then did “Blurry” by Puddle of Mudd as their second song. More soothing version of the song and more hip hop. Kinda sounded like their hit “Die Without You” with Blurry lyrics. The hollar guy gave out roses. First time I saw an artist bribing the audience. But it was a good rendition.

Last time we saw Missing Persons (place ironic comment here) was in the Bahamas trying to find a missing girl. Just kidding. They are out of Philly, and the lead singer is a single mother raising two kids.

Their first song is “Words”. The lead singer came out in a three piece suit, a hat and Courtney Love’s hair. She still has her style — half rap, half singing. Solid performance.

“Can’t Get You Out of My Head” by Kylie Monogue was their next song. Disconnected and karaoke-ish. Not really good.

The winner of the night is PM Dawn in the closest vote of the season. I like them personally. They are giving their $25,000 to the Juvenile Diabetes Foundation. So for now, HBOMT is over, but the Flairmarq goes on. So for now, it’s me dimming the lights and turning off the mics.

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