The Amazing Race 9 - Episode 2 Summary

'Punchbuggy White, No Punchbacks' By Seana

Hello and welcome to another episode of The Amazing Race, and incidentally to another summary of an episode of The Amazing Race. Last week was the two-hour premiere. If you missed it, we are treated to a recap. (For more details, please see dajaki’s fine summary here.) We hear Phil giving us the overview: 11 teams leave from Colorado and fly to Sao (not ‘San’) Paolo, Brazil. Two all-guy teams take the lead. The old people team miss the clue again and again. No-one will talk to John and Scott. (And really, who can blame them?) The pink girl team can’t build a motorcycle despite doling out kisses to bewildered locals and jiggling. Ray and Yolanda are “cheered on” by the locals. Oh, really? Nice spin there, Phil. Lake, the dentist, is INTENSE. His wife is with him. The self-styled “Glamazons” scream and run around. John and Scott try to conjure a genie to help them, but for some reason this fails. Go figure. They are eliminated, and we are all better off for it.

Who will be the next team eliminated? Let’s find out.

*****

We begin back at the soccer stadium.

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The Frat Boys, Eric and Jeremy are the first to leave the Pit Stop at 5:34 am. The clue tells them to head to the Edificio Copan and find Bloco F. Do you think there will be anyone in this building at this hour? Neither do I, really, but let’s pretend to be surprised when they have to wait for 3 hours in front of the door marked “Hours of Operation”.

Eric and Jeremy tell us that they are here for the Race, but also to pick up chicks.

Hippies BJ and Tyler are 2 minutes behind. Eric and Jeremy wait for them and the two all-guy teams get cabs together. Tyler impresses me by saying “Obrigado”, which is PORTUGUESE for thank-you. That’s what they speak in Brazil. Not Spanish. BJ and Tyler claim to have both a rivalry and an understanding with Eric and Jeremy. Like, cool man.

The mother-daughter team of Wanda and Desiree leave 9 minutes later. They say that coming in third gives them confidence and lets them know that are true competitors. They continue to speak Spanish very quickly. I wonder how many Spanish-speaking people they get in Brazil, which is a lone Portuguese country in a continent that speaks Spanish. I wonder if the Spanish-speakers often just speak Spanish loudly and enunciate when speaking to Brazilians, like English-speakers traveling in non-English-speaking countries. Not that we will see that here on this show.

Next to leave are nerdy David and Lori. Lori is David’s Hottie boom-bottie with the naughty Pilates(?). He loves her. So he says, but he called her that on a show that attracts a lot of viewers. So, do you think Lori’s having fun living this down? I bet people who recognize her on the street ask her about her naughty Pilates all the time now. She’s a lucky girl.

Cut to Eric and Jeremy in their cab. Eric ogles a hooker. Eric realizes the hooker is male and admits to saying that a guy had a nice ass. His reaction is not bad. Sort of self-deprecating. I will give him a pass this time, but there’s only so much time I want to spend watching him and Jeremy talking about getting some.

The first 3 teams arrive at the Edificio and Eric jokes about going to get his boyfriend first. They all rush like mad to Bloco Effay only to discover a bunch point. It won’t be open until 8:00 am. My goodness! Did you see that coming? What a surprise! I’m shocked, I tell you.

We now return to the Pit Stop, where the other teams are opening their clues and rushing unnecessarily to get to the building rapido, rapido, so they too can wait.

Michelle says that she can make Lake calm down. It’s her special skill. To prove it, we hear her telling Lake to calm down.

Monica says she and Joseph are a strong team because they finished ahead of other teams, despite being on the last flight. They rush unnecessarily, with Monica exclaiming “Hurry! Hurry!”

Ray and Yolanda are unhappy with their 7th place finish and aim to improve.

Fran and Barry kiss. Fran tells us about surviving cancer and wanting to prove that she’s still in good shape.

Danielle and Dani tell us that they expected to be able to get further just by being girls and flashing a pretty smile. Since this didn’t work, they will have to actually make an effort. Perhaps someone can correct me if I’m wrong, but I’ve never heard the dippy girl team admit this before. Previous dippy girl teams have nattered on about how people will underestimate them and how they’ll prove everyone wrong. This team boldly states that they were relying on their “femininity”. I’m torn between admiration for ‘fessing up/telling the truth and disgust that there are dimwits who feel they should be able to coast along on their looks.

I’m going to go with disgust.

Sisters Lisa and Joni are last. Lisa claims to be out of her element. She will get no argument from me.

Finally, all teams are waiting outside the door. BJ and Tyler are first to the clue box. They discover that the next task is a Roadblock.

Firedrill: One person must climb nearly 400 feet up one of 3 fire escapes on a building and then rappel down - first come, first served to the rappelling equipment.

The teammates chosen to do this task are: BJ, Desiree, David, Jeremy, Lake, Joseph, Ray, Fran and Joni. Inexplicably, 5 teams choose to go up the 1st fire escape and 4 choose the 2nd. BJ and Tyler are alone at Fire Escape #3. They were smart. Yes, that's what I said. The teammates on the ground yell up encouragement. Eric says they have to be nice to the pink girls, so they’ll put out later. You know, the boys cute and all, but they’re kinda slimy.

Eric and Jeremy finish first. They discover that they must now go to a certain bus station (this is important) and get a ticket for one of 3 charter busses, leaving at 10:15 am, 11:15 am and 12:15 pm respectively, and go to the town of Brotas. There they will get a VW bug and the next clue.

Joseph powers through the task and he and Monica finish second. Eric and Jeremy decide to follow their cab. Eric and Jeremy are looking like not so strong a team.

Lake says “Hail yeah!” again.

Everyone is calling someone “Baby”: Ray, Yolanda, Monica, Fran, Barry, Wanda. I hope it stops. Please, please, let it stop.

Still on the top of the building, Danielle has a panic attack. It seems she’s afraid of heights and isn’t sure she can go through with it. Fran eventually comforts her. So the pink team has failed their first attempt at using their brains instead of their assets by choosing the phobic person for the phobia-inducing task.

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