The Bachelor alum Rachael Kirkconnell has opened up about whether she's feeling any remorse or regret after her difficult breakup with Matt James.
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"I will say, I think a lot of people think that I have feelings of remorse or regret or frustration or that I'm just very, very heartbroken. And I think that I have to remind myself that there was no time wasted."
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Rachael said she's thankful for the four years she had spent with the Season 25 The Bachelor star because she learned a lot about herself and what she wants in life.
"I'm very thankful for everything that I went through. For what we both went through," Rachael shared.
"At the very end of the day, a relationship along with all of the great memories and fun times and things you've done, it also gives you so many life lessons."
Rachael added that she "did grow up a lot" these last several years.
Rachael said going forward, she's trying to be independent and have a louder voice.
"I think that from things that I would take away would be standing up for myself a bit more and just not losing your confidence or not putting yourself aside for someone else," Rachael said.
Rachael suggested that she got a little lost in her relationship with Matt.
"I think it's really easy to get lost on putting yourself first at times or making sure that you're being seen and heard," she noted.
"So, I would definitely make sure I'm still prioritizing myself."
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Rachael shared that she's choosing to view her breakup with Matt as "a blessing in disguise" because she believes "everything happens for a reason."
Rachael said of her romance with Matt, "That's just something that needed to happen in my life."
"I don't even know for what reason, but I'm trusting it," she said. "I'm trusting the process. I'm doing good and things are okay. So, yeah, as sad as it is, it happens for a reason."
Matt broke up with Rachael during a trip to Tokyo and then publicly announced their split via Instagram on January 16 without giving Rachael any warning.
The January 16 breakup post read, "Father God, give Rachael and I strength to mend our broken hearts. Give us a peace about this decision to end our relationship that transcends worldly understanding. Shower our friends and family with kindness and love to comfort us. And remind us that our Joy comes from you, Lord."
Rachael previously said on the "Call Her Daddy" podcast that she was sitting on a Georgia-bound plane waiting for it to take off when she saw Matt's Instagram post.
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Rachael recalled her phone blowing up with text messages and calls, only to lose WiFi signal and have no phone connection for the next 12 hours.
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Rachael noted that "part of the reason" her split from Matt is still "pretty sad" is because "it definitely didn't have to go down the way it did."
Rachael apparently feels Matt has some regret about the way he dumped and blindsided her.
Matt allegedly didn't view Rachael as his perfect person. He was allegedly concerned about how emotional she got during challenging times and how she supposedly didn't apologize and take accountability for her mistakes.
Shortly after their breakup, Rachael wished she and Matt could remain friends, but she also admitted to Alex Cooper that she could never reconcile with the former The Bachelor star because of how he had disrespected her at the end of their relationship.
"It's just sad to look back on now -- four years later, that's how things went out," Rachael explained.
"It's definitely something to not dwell on, but something that I wonder if I'll always be a little bummed out about."
Rachael expressed how she's now looking for a man who will show her respect, listen to her and empathize with how she's feeling.
"You need to have not only compassion for your partner, but also compassion for yourself," Rachael told Us.
"And not only compassion, but just making sure you have respect for yourself and for one another."
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Rachael said she also wants her future boyfriend to accept her for who she is -- "flaws and all" -- because she plans to treat him the same way.
"And to always just make sure you are being an uplifting partner," Rachael continued.
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When looking back on her four-year relationship with Matt, Rachael said she's been wondering where that self-doubt and insecurity stemmed from.
"And I definitely want a partner that's just always very uplifting and supportive of me," Rachael said.
"Not that that's what they're there for -- I think you need to find that within yourself -- but having someone that supports you and uplifts you the same way you do them is a non-negotiable from here on out."
Rachael gushed about how she's now independent and in her "Golden Era," but she looks forward to eventually dating again.
However, Rachael said she's in no rush to meet someone and may not be interested in finding love for the second time on The Bachelor franchise.
"I don't know if I'm able to date someone within the franchise again. I don't know if I can do that again," Rachael admitted with Bachelor in Paradise's tenth season coming up this year.
"Listen, I'm never going to totally shut the door on anything. That's not me, but I also feel like it's pretty soon and I don't think I'm ready for that."
Rachael added with a laugh, "Maybe you won't see me on the beaches of Paradise, but you might see me on the beaches elsewhere, just a vacation by myself."
Matt's The Bachelor season filmed in late 2020, and he was shown giving Rachael his final rose on the Season 25 finale that aired in early 2021.
When Matt broke up with her in Tokyo, Rachael recalled on the "Call Her Daddy" podcast: "He said that, at the end of the day, there were qualities about me that he worries about having in a wife, like... there are things we are not compatible with."
She elaborated, "[He said], 'I should want to propose to you. At this point in our relationship... I should be ready for that, but I'm not still. I still don't feel like I'm ready. I don't know if I ever see myself proposing to you. I can't actually see myself married to you.'"
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About The Author: Elizabeth Kwiatkowski