The Bachelor alum Rachael Kirkconnell has confirmed that Matt James dumped her and she was totally blindsided by his decision to end their relationship after four years of dating.
ADVERTISEMENT
|
RELATED LINK: 'THE BACHELOR' FRANCHISE COUPLES NOW: WHO IS STILL TOGETHER?? (PHOTOS)
Rachael opened up about her split from Matt and how it completely crushed her during the Tuesday, January 28 episode of Alex Cooper's "Call Her Daddy" podcast.
Rachael shared with Alex how she had met Matt in London on January 3 and then, from there, the couple flew to Tokyo because they had free time and flight vouchers that were about to expire.
Rachael said at the time of this trip to Japan, their relationship was "great" and healthy.
"A few days before, we were talking about how he felt lucky to have me as a partner and that there's so many qualities he loves that I have," Rachael revealed.
But the night before their breakup, Rachael said she was feeling very overwhelmed.
"I was trying so hard to find a good dinner spot for us... and I was putting so much pressure [on myself] because he cares -- this is his career [as a food influencer on social media]," Rachael explained.
Rachael said on top of feeling pressure not disappoint Matt with her dining choice, she was "tired, cranky, emotional, on my period, feeling terrible, and overwhelmed."
Rachael apparently started to cry at the dinner because it ended up being "a bad spot."
"Two tears [came down my cheeks], and then I was done. I didn't allow myself to get upset after that. I just tried to calm down," Rachael insisted.
Once the pair returned to their hotel room in Tokyo, Rachael said Matt was acting a little cold or standoffish towards her.
FOLLOW REALITY TV WORLD ON THE ALL-NEW GOOGLE NEWS!
Reality TV World is now available on the all-new Google News app and website. Click here to visit our Google News page, and then click FOLLOW to add us as a news source!
"I was like, 'Are you mad at me?' And he was like, 'I'm just so confused why you were so upset. What was that?' And I explained to him, 'I felt like I let you down, like that was disappointing,'" Rachael recalled, adding how she feared their outing was "a waste" of Matt's time.
"He was just trying to tell me, 'It's not that serious. It's not that big of a deal.' But then he was concerned about me getting so upset. He was like, 'There is no reason for you to get upset like that.' He found it concerning that I got that emotional, I guess."
Rachael said Matt was worried about how Rachael would react and deal with something "really terrible" in life if she had responded to an insignificant, crappy dinner with that much emotion.
"I felt like I was being punished for crying. It was so weird... I was so confused by his reaction," Rachael shared.
RELATED LINK: 'THE BACHELORETTE' COUPLES NOW: WHOM DID 'THE BACHELORETTE' STARS AND THEIR BACHELOR PICKS ULTIMATELY END UP WITH?! (PHOTOS)
Rachael admitted that Matt gave her space that night -- although she had truly wanted to be hugged and comforted -- and then they "let it go" and went to bed.
Rachael said when she and Matt woke up the next morning, everything was "totally fine" and normal until they had a little argument that "opened up a can of worms."
Rachael admitted she was scrolling through her phone showing Matt videos, which "bothered" him.
ADVERTISEMENT
"So it seemed like we were both mad at each other and annoyed with each other."
The pair proceeded to grab food and shop at a nearby marketplace separately.
Once they reunited, Rachael admitted she was quiet and told Matt that she was prepared to give him space because she had clearly "irritated" him.
"That just opened up everything. We had gotten into an argument right then and there," Rachael said.
"He let out everything I guess he had been feeling for a while, I don't know. He said that, at the end of the day, there were qualities about me he worries about having in a wife... and there were things where we weren't compatible."
Rachael said it seemed like Matt had "a realization" in that moment.
"[He said], 'I should want to propose to you at this time, at this point in our relationship... and I should be ready for that, but I'm not still. I still don't feel like I'm ready. I don't know if I ever see myself proposing to you. I can't actually see myself married to you,'" Rachael claimed.
"He said that maybe one day he would get there but he doesn't feel ready now."
Rachael continued, "And I told him, 'Well, I feel like after four years, you should know -- or you should feel ready -- and if you don't, then that's not a good thing. We probably shouldn't be together if you don't feel like that after four years because you know me better than anyone, and I know you better than anyone.'"
Rachael then asked Matt during that moment if he thought his "perfect person" was still out there.
"He came to the conclusion that it wasn't me," Rachael lamented, adding how that made her feel like she wasn't good enough for him or that she had been the problem.
"He said he didn't want me to end up resenting him by wasting more of my time if it didn't happen. And yeah, he just said, 'You're beautiful, smart and funny and you'll find a guy who will love you for you.' But he didn't think it was him."
ADVERTISEMENT
"I said, 'Okay.' I didn't say anything else. I just said, 'Okay,' and then I got my suitcase, went down into the lobby, got into a car, and went to the airport," Rachael shared.
"I had to leave a day before him. I was trying to make it home for a baby shower that I did not end up going to. I just couldn't believe it! Going to the airport, I was like, 'What the hell is happening?'"
RELATED LINK: 'THE BACHELOR' COUPLES NOW: WHO DID 'THE BACHELOR' STARS AND THEIR BACHELORETTE PICKS ACTUALLY END UP MARRYING? (PHOTOS)
Rachael confirmed she felt "pure shock" and "so much confusion" after Matt suddenly dumped her.
"I was obviously sad because everything he had just said to me was very, very hurtful," Rachael noted.
"[But] he is allowed to feel like that... I wouldn't want someone to propose to me and be married to me just because they feel like they have to."
Rachael added how she was completely blindsided by the split, which "definitely out of nowhere."
"I don't think he was planning on doing it. I think it was one of those things where he just came to this realization during our argument. I don't know," Rachael attempted to reason.
Rachael said about two or three hours after she left him, Matt uploaded his breakup statement via Instagram without giving her any warning.
At the time, Rachael was on a plane getting ready to depart Tokyo, and she said she couldn't wrap her mind around the whole world knowing about her breakup before she could even make sense of it.
"I still don't know if he acted out of anger or spite, or if he didn't mean it. And if he didn't post it so publicly after he broke up with me, I don't even know where we'd be right now," Rachael said.
ADVERTISEMENT
When looking back on how they handled conflict in their relationship, Rachael said she and Matt are both "stubborn" and "didn't see eye to eye sometimes."
Rachael said they didn't argue often but she also struggled to trust him because of what happened during their brief split from February to April 2021.
Reality Steve spoiler blogger Steve Carbone had reported at the time that Matt had attempted to hook up with a Florida-based woman named Grace, who was an alleged "booty call."
Carbone had claimed that Matt was "playing two women at the same time" and Rachael was incredibly hurt by the former The Bachelor star's actions.
"That girl coming to Reality Steve and everything, I was just asking myself, like, 'Are you still doing this?'" Rachael admitted to Alex.
But Rachael insisted Matt "is not a cheater," and she added, "I never actually had to worry about him cheating on me, because technically, if he was ever with other women, we were apart. So I can't call him a cheater or worry about him cheating on me."
Rachael said she believes Matt was faithful to her in the four years they were together, and she confirmed any cryptic social-media posts she had "liked" or reposted recently about cheating happened before her split from Matt and were unrelated.
A part of the reason Rachael was so blindsided by the breakup was because she and Matt had allegedly talked about marriage and kids all the time.
Rachael claimed Matt had suggested they should go look at engagement rings just a few months before their split -- but he never followed through.
"I did think we were on the same page! When we would talk about things, he always seemed like he was on the same page -- privately or publicly," Rachael said.
Rachael is now left picking up the pieces of her life as a single woman who is hoping to find the independence and confidence she's apparently been lacking for years while being under Matt's shadow.
"When you picture your life, you have an idea of what it's going to look like. And now, I have no idea what life is going to look like from here on out. I was picturing these kids that are obviously no longer a thing," Rachael said in tears.
ADVERTISEMENT
RELATED LINK: 'THE BACHELOR' FRANCHISE COUPLES NOW: WHO IS STILL TOGETHER?? (PHOTOS)
Interested in more The Bachelor news? Follow our Bachelor Nation News Page on Facebook or join our The Bachelor Facebook Group!
About The Author: Elizabeth Kwiatkowski