The Bachelorette star Charity Lawson has explained her "struggle" with Xavier Bonner and how his "tactics" made her question their relationship.

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Charity said her first kiss with Xavier was "almost too good to be true" on Night 1, and she found him to be funny and attractive. But their relationship has been a bit of a slow-burn on The Bachelorette's twentieth season.

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Viewers didn't really get to know Xavier until his first one-on-one date with Charity in Washington, and on that date, Charity admitted she was skeptical and wary of the bachelor's intentions.

Charity lamented about how Xavier complimented her looks but wasn't giving her much insight into himself or how he was feeling about her, and she said he reminded her of her ex-boyfriend, who had cheated on her and treated her poorly.

Charity admitted that she was ready to send Xavier home in Washington -- until he opened up to her about his family, passions and past on the dinner portion of their date.

"That is correct," Charity said of her readiness to deny Xavier a rose during the July 27 episode of the "Bachelor Happy Hour" podcast, which is co-hosted by Bachelor in Paradise spouses Joe Amabile and Serena Pitt.

"I was in my head all day about that man in Washington. Xavier is such a contagious person, but like, at times, he has these tactics that I don't know if he's [used] in his past dating experience."

The Bachelorette star continued, "But it's like, for me, I'm craving a guy who can give emotional depth too, and have emotional intelligence."

Charity suggested that Xavier had some walls built up and wasn't forthcoming with information about himself.

"I like asking questions that are going to challenge you, and I feel like, sometimes -- and we don't always see it, but we see it a little bit on the date in Washington -- he kind of deflects a little bit," Charity explained.

"And he uses flirtation," she added.

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Joe joked about how Xavier appeared to be hitting on her all the time when he didn't need to.

"Yeah!" Charity agreed.

"He uses flirtation as a way to kind of avoid the conversation, and I picked up on that. And so that's what I was referring to when I said, 'He kind of reminds me of my ex,' who could never get past a certain point."

Charity knew Xavier was boyfriend material, but for those reasons, she wasn't sure if he could be her husband.

"I didn't know if he could get there, but then obviously he got extremely vulnerable at that dinner, and so hearing about his mom and hearing about his pursuit of a career -- and why he feels like that's his purpose -- that really did resonate a lot with me," Charity explained.

"We talked a lot more about family and also what his goals are in life. And so yeah, that was honestly the saving grace for him, because otherwise, I think he probably would've been out of there!"

Charity elaborated on how Xavier's saving grace was "the fact he was willing to try and willing to see" things through.

Xavier opened up to Charity on that date about how his mom battles multiple sclerosis and so he was pursuing his PhD in order to study such autoimmune diseases and hopefully find a cure someday.

Xavier talked about how he's afraid to not have his strong feelings for a woman reciprocated in a relationship, and Charity in turn expressed how she's afraid of infidelity.

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Xavier therefore promised Charity that he would always be honest and upfront with her, and that promise led to a candid conversation with The Bachelorette star prior to hometowns.

Xavier confessed how the idea of committing himself to one person forever scared him.

"That scares me because it's something I've never done before, and I want to do it once and I want to do it right. There has to be no doubt there," Xavier explained Charity.

"I know I want to get engaged and I know I want to get married; it's a question of is that you?... I'm trying to gain any sense of clarity. I don't know what that thing is that's going to make me fall in love. It's just going to happen."

But Xavier assured Charity that he could probably get there with her and he wouldn't pass up an engagement if she's The One for him.

"That's the thing! That was the struggle! It's this constant, like, one week we're here and then one week we're feeling different. And so it's this constant shift, and that was a lot for me," Charity shared.

"So we'll obviously see how things play out. But it was a lot!"

However, Charity said she couldn't fault Xavier for not feeling 100 percent confident about proposing marriage to her before she even met his family.

"Truly, that's probably a little unrealistic. The fact that I think he was still open to it and he didn't completely close off, that's why I [gave him a rose]," Charity explained.

Charity's other Final 4 bachelors are Aaron Bryant, Dotun Olubeko and Joey Graziadei. The next The Bachelorette episode airs Monday, July 31 at 8PM ET/PT on ABC.

RELATED LINK: 'THE BACHELOR' FRANCHISE COUPLES NOW: WHO IS STILL TOGETHER?? (PHOTOS)

Click here to read spoilers about Charity's The Bachelorette season and who Charity picked as her winner.

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About The Author: Elizabeth Kwiatkowski

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