The Real World: Austin - Episode 4 Summary

'I Don't Believe In War' By volsfan

The first ten seconds of the episode gives us the theme. We are shown protestors chanting NO MORE WAR! We will get to here about how Rachel fought for this country and how proud she is.

Rachel is showing pictures from her tour in Iraq to Lacey and Danny. Danny is curious as to what happens to them if they get caught having sex. We get to hear about Rachel’s beaufriend and he is stationed at Fort Drum. Rachel and her beaufriend, Porker, did get caught having sex and she had roof watch for 5 nights straight. She said she had to do her regular job then spend the night on the roof being a lookout.

NOTE TO U.S. MILITARY: Doesn’t it make sense to put people on overnight watch that is well rested? Why would you put some over-sexed nymph that can’t keep her legs shut on a roof at night with other soldiers. Wonder if any of them got nooners at midnight?

Nehemiah, Rachel, Lacey and Mel go to Chili’s to eat and Rachel tells a story of putting fruit candy in water to make it taste like juice. Nehemiah and Nymph get into an argument over whether being in jail is worse than fighting in Iraq. Rachel says she had to dig a hole to carp in. Nehemiah says he is against war.

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NOTE TO NEHEMIAH: Hey numbnuts never get into an anti-war argument with a soldier. Also, I don’t know how anyone can come out with a stance of being against all wars. Where would your scrawny ass be today without war?

In the love bed we have Danny telling Mel to go out and have fun. Danny is going to stay in and Mel says she will go just to get to know her roommates better.

NOTE TO READER: Keep this in mind as we will see saliva being swapped in a few minutes and Danny isn’t involved but Mel is!

The houseguest skulk into The Dizzy Rooster so Jo can get her panties wet over bartender Leo.

As the roomies are leaving a stranger is talking to Wes and tells him to walk up to any stranger and tell them he wants them and get a kiss. Wes spies out his options and walks up to some beached whale but is turned down. Mel walks up and he tells her he wants and gets his tongue down her throat faster than Rachel gave away the nappy dugout in Iraq!

NOTE TO WES: Dood! You are way better looking then beached whale and Mel combined. When you get home please wash your mouth out with bleach. Rumor has it that bleach kills all Mel cooties. Also, never make out with a roomies’ girlfriend. Roomies tend to frown on such behavior.

They return home and Mel races to Danny’s bed and says she wants to f**k him. Poor Danny fresh off surgery physically pushes her aside and says something about being isn’t attractive.

NOTE TO MEL: Hoebags, it’s all about you isn’t it? When you sober up you might want to review the tapes. You hooked up with the wrong roomie and got turned down by the right roomie. No matter how I look at it…you are still a clingy, needy, insecure wench!

Wes has a heart-to-heart talk with Leo (Jo’s wet panties guy), Jo and Lacey. They all agree that Wes should be honest and tell Danny. Wes understands what they are saying but he decides to just let it go and not say anything. *rolls eyes*

The houseguests go to work and get a crash course on video taping and audio. They learn about filming people moving and to deal with shadows of things like that. Danny appeared to have caught quickly as he is shown directing some before they go home to get drunk.

Jo and Lacey pull Rachel aside to tell her that she is beginning to get on everyone’s nerves. They tell her that she is bossy and just takes over at times. She said she had no idea the military had affected her so much.

NOTE TO RACHEL: Yo Gomer Pyle, I don’t think the military has anything to do with you being bossy. I might buy the military affecting your ability to be punctual but being bossy is not taught.

Now we get to the drama segment (the war in Iraq) and to be honest I don’t know why they are upset because they all have their “facts” a little skewed.

NOTE TO DANNY: The “they” you are searching for is Osama Bin Ladin and his followers and they were nowhere near Iraq at the time the U.S. invaded.

NOTE TO NEHEMIAH: I may agree with you that the war is based on propaganda but don’t tell Rachel she wasn’t there. Sure, she wasn’t fighting on the front lines but everyone has a role and she did her part.

NOTE TO RACHEL: I don’t think anyone alluding to you not being a real soldier. He just said you weren’t there!

This is why you don’t talk politics, especially with those that don’t have the mental capacity to discuss such deep things.

Nehemiah wrote an apology note and left it on Rachel’s bed. She reads it, cries and goes to him and they kiss and make-up.

In the “what the fvck were you thinking” category. Lacey tells Wes that Mel has kissed Wes and made out with another girl. This catches Wes way off guard. Danny confronts Mel and like always she cries like a baby. Mel continues to cry until Danny hugs her and tells her everything will be all right.

NOTE TO DANNY: This wench isn’t worthy enough to sniff your shoes. I have said it before and I will say it again…RUN FOR THE HILLS!

Next week Libra will be here to do play-by-play.

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