The Real World: Austin - Episode 17 Summary

'Lacey: The Busted Backstabber' By batts

We start this episode with the realworlders filming around town, doing their job, meeting with bands, and filming their performances.

While filming Halifax at the bar, Wes is getting up close and personal with the lead singer 'Mike', who is pouring his heart out in his tunes on stage, rocking Wes' real world, and slinging blood, sweat, and beers all over Wes.

As Halifax plays on, Lacey stands in the crowd, unmoved, wondering how long this song is going to last. She crosses her arms, sneers, rolls her eyes, and looks on with disgust. We see that she has had enough as snakes slowly begin to grow from her head, spit venom, and strike the air, toward the stage where Halifax is singing.

When the Real Worlders get back to the house that night, they have company. To Rachel's delight, it's Mike and the guys from Halifax!

Lacey confessional: "Halifax shouldn't even be in this house."

Rachel is really caught up in her new friend 'Mike', and even invites him to do a confessional with her. Rachel says, "If Mike were single, and I was single, we would definately hook up."

As Mike does the confessional with Rachel, he points out to the camera that "This girl go nuts, I tell you! Nuts!"

Just a little side note here. I got news Mike. You have NO IDEA! All you gotta do is tell her how menial her job was in the war, then you'll get a dose of one of Rachels finer moments!

Later that night, Rachel is staggering around and 'whale diving' into the basketball game machine that Nehemiah treasures so much. She crashes into it, ripping the transformer out of the wall, and the wires out of the transformer. The game no longer works, and Nehemiah turns into Mr. Hyde.

We know this party is over when everyone gets quiet, and Nehemiah starts hissing out uglies at everyone.

"You think you're cute don't you?"

"You think that's gonna make him like you more?"

"Your Mama so fat, she ATE Jenny Craig!"

Nehemiah looks at his broken basketball machine, and decides it's time for a little 'brutal truth'. He looks straight at Mike from Halifax and says, "I don't like you." He then throws down his hopelessly broken transformer to his basketball game, and tells Mike to "Leave my house before I come over there and drop kick your @§§ over I-35!"

This is when Mike realizes the fun is over now, and decides it's time to go, cause hey, I-35 is a whole 4 blocks away.

The party ends with our Rachel, with her head in the commode, crying her heart out that Nehemiah kicked out her hunny. Hey, I remember these parties! Is this like 'Deja Vu'? How many of us here remember these kinds of parties, where the host of the party goes ballistic because of:

#1 Stolen colognes from the bathroom
#2 Broken marble furniture
#3 Neighbors standing on their porches
#4 Finding someone with their head stuck in a commode?

That's all I got to say about that....... as Forrest Gump would say.

The next morning, the alarm clock buzzes, and buzzes, ... and buzzes, as we watch our sleeping realworlders at their best. Sleeping.

After 2 hours of hitting the snooze alarm, Rachel comes to life and proceeds to wake up Wes and Danny, to go to interview a group called "Hello-Goodbye", who is at some park camping, because they can't afford a hotel room.

Wes: "Rachel got so drunk the night before from trying to hook up with Mike, that she forgets to set her alarm."

(Yeah, right, Wes. Um, what about YOUR alarm?)

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So Rachel calls and leaves a message on one of the band members cells, stating that "We're sorry, but we had ALARM CLOCK PROBLEMS." I couldn't help but wonder if that was the excuse she used in the Army, when she was late for "Formation."

Now, they strike out of town, looking for some park, in some remote location, looking for a band they've never met, and when they get to the park office, they tell the park Ranger one of the band members names is "Forrest."

Rachel: "Hi, I'm with Austin Film Society, and we're out here looking for someone."
Park Ranger: "Ok, um, Name?"
Rachel: " Forrest........ somebody."

The Park Ranger tells them where the campsite they might be is "Down the road, behind headquarters, walk down the hill, take the first right hand turn, walk 2 miles down that road, cross the bridge, swim across the lake, and there you ARE!"

Our hungover Realworlders decide not to make the perilous journey, and head back to the Real World house instead. On the way back they discuss the things that Lacey has said behind their back. Danny tells Rachel, and Wes, that while he was recovering at the house from his head wound for the first 3 weeks he was at the house, Lacey did nothing but talk about all the other housemates.

(Lacey confessional) "Not that our roomates are super stupid, but they're definately NOT at the prime of their intelligence."

Back at the house, round about noonish, Forrest Something calls Rachel, and asks her why they didn't show up for the interview.

Rachel: "We did go! We were there, and did our best to find you."

(oh, yeah, right)

They decide to do the interview TOMORROW morning, and fix their alarm clock problem.

Rachel then proposes to Lacey that "Lacey, Nehemiah, and Melinda" go out to the badlands to try to find the merry campers -- an idea that Lacey doesn't like at all.

That night, the realworlders film our "happy campers," the group Hello-Goodbye, and find them to be a pretty good group! After the performances, and walking home, Danny begins snarling pouts that Lacey won't take his place, and get up in the morning to go looking for our happy campers, at their primitive campsite. He doesn't like the idea of getting up early in the morning, driving to the badlands, and repeating the hungover situation of the previous morning. After all, his job is to hold the microphone in the bar, while the band is playing, and flirt with Melinda, and just be his pretty little self!

The next morning, Melinda, Danny, and Rachel make it out to "Point Primitive," and get the interview with Hello-Goodbye out of the way.

Wait a minute, where's Wes? He must have borrowed Rachel's defective alarm clock, because he's not with them.

While at the campsite, Forrest decides to sing a little song for them called 'Oh, It Is Love!' -- which sounds like that song out of the sixties about holding hands, Love in San Francisco, and wearing flowers in your hair, LOL.

Danny and Melinda get caught up in the song, and go for a swim in a little pond called Water Moccasin Swimming Hole. Oh, my gosh! How many people know that around these parts here in Austin territory, every little water hole like that is absolutely SWARMING WITH WATER MOCCASINS. They have no idea what is down in that dark green water they are frolicking in. But ignorance is bliss, and they swim around the green waterstop like they are performing in a 'Water Ballet', totally unaware of the slithering mess at their feet, or the nests of baby cottonmouths 3 feet away in the bushes.

Back in Austin, Lacey is explaining how annoying Rachel is, and Nehemiah sits quietly, listening to Lacey drone on and on about everyone else. Nehemiah calls her on it, and explains how he feels about someone who stabs people in the back.

Nehemiah: "Hey, do you talk behind my back too? What do you say about me?"

Lacey confessional: "I have no idea why my fellow housemates think I talk behind their back. Besides, I'm at the house alone, ALL THE TIME, so who would I talk to, behind their backs? The walls...... the paintings?"

Later that day, Rachel reviews footage of some of their film fun, and comes across Lacey making a comment, to Mike (Halifax).

(Film footage) Lacey: "YOU, are gonna cheat on your girlfriend, with that whore RACHEL? EWWWWW"

As Rachel, sits shocked at Laceys words, looking at the footage of Lacey saying that over and over again, she decides to ask some of her other roomies for advice. She then confronts Lacey about the snide comment, who, after watching the footage of herself trashing Rachel's good name, turns white in the face.  Oh wait, never mind -- that's her natural makeup, I forgot.

Lacey can't think of anything to say, of course, and puts on her "So, what about it?" look. We then see a little white glowing HALO form around Lacey's head, and feathery wings spring from her sides. After all, don't we all know that Lacey can do no wrong? Huh? Don't we?

Who will Lacey backstab next? Are the roomies gonna gang up on Lacey now? Who's butt needs to be dropkicked now? Find out next week on..... The Real World, Austin!

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