The Apprentice 5 - Episodes 7 & 8 Summary

'Three Vodkas for Lenny' By Scuba Steve

Previously on the Apprentice:

The apprenti had to design a jingle for the Worst. Fast. Food. Restaurant. Ever.
Gold Rush forgot to mention said fast food restaurant had all “natural” chicken.
Bryce brought Lee into the boardroom for observing Rosh Hashanah because he’s an idiot.
And Bryce was fired.

On to this week’s episode.

Lee and Lenny come back from the boardroom. The other Gold Rushers are somewhat upset that Bryce is gone because they still have these two on their team. Lenny decides that he will be PM for the next task.

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Lenny c-t: Trump said I on thin ice. So, I will be project manger for the next task. We will crush Synergy and bury their bodies in Siberia where no one will find them.

The candidates arrive at Trump Building to hear Donald brag/explain the next task.

Donald tells them that they’re standing at Trump Building at 40 Wall Street. He bought 40 Wall Street for $1 million, so you can bet those idiots are kicking themselves for only selling it for $1 million. For this task, they will be working with Ace Hardware. Ace is a great company that Donald claims he uses. I highly doubt that. Donald probably doesn’t know the difference between a hammer and a wrench.

Ace has a program called New Faces for Helpful Places. They will be assigned two separate Boys and Girls Clubs and renovate an area in each. These executives, Paula, Rich, and Glen will judge you, on three criteria: creativity, functionality, and how well the judges like your upgrades. Their fate is in the judges’ hands. Winning team gets to enjoy a crappy reward. Losing team meets Donald in the boardroom where someone will be fired

Gold Rush

Lenny leads his team to their Boys and Girls Club and gets a look at the room they’re renovating. The room has no color and looks more like a hospital room than anything designed for kids. Lee is happy Lenny stepped up and decided to be PM. If he wins this task, Lenny will be the Man. If he doesn’t, Lee will stab him in the back and sacrifice him to the Donald.

Gold Rush begins discussing ideas for the room. Lee wants to do something involving music and dance. Lenny says it has to be music or dance. They can’t do both. This isn’t American Idol or DWTS. I’d rather gouge my eyes out than watch either of those shows.

Charmaine wants to focus on the Ace people. Lenny doesn’t want to bother with that right now. Charmaine is upset that Lenny didn’t care about meeting with the executives. These people are judging them. If they don’t like Gold Rush, they’re going to the boardroom. She’s sick of the boardroom. She has been there so many times that she can count the hairs on Trump’s head.

The execs meet with Gold Rush. Lenny tries to ask a question, but he gets as far as “So.” Charmaine asks them about Helpful Faces for Friendly Places program. The execs laugh at her for being a dumba$$ and remind her it’s New Faces for Helpful Places.

Lenny starts mumbling incoherently. Something about how big hardware stores are. Tarek says Lenny really should have stepped up and asked real hard-hitting questions. Instead, Lenny just sat there like the dummy he is. He made Tarek look smart by comparison.

Moving on to Trump’s lesson. This week it’s “Be Decisive.” Donald hammers this home by flirting with a model AKA his future wife.

Synergy

Michael is the PM for the task. He begins asking question after question to the execs. The execs are thinking to themselves, “Does this dude ever stop?” Andrea says that Michael has the tendency to go on and on and on. She thinks he needs to shut the f*** up.

Michael finally finishes. Synergy huddles together and thinks of ideas for the room. Michael has the idea of creating four separate spaces for the room: a couch potato space, an easy to lose pieces space, a Barbie doll space, and a rip-off of Gold Rush’s idea space.

Allie tries to get him to head over to Ace. Michael doesn’t listen to her because she isn’t sleeping with him. Carolyn says that Michael is running out of time. She says he needs to head over to Ace and get supplies to renovate the room. Otherwise, the room will look as dull and boring as it does now. Dull and boring is not good. George was dull and boring, and they dumped him for Bill.

We now get my worse nightmare: a split screen. We see that Gold Rush has finally made their way to Ace Hardware. Synergy, however, is looking at paint colors. Michael has trouble figuring out that it might be a good idea to go to a hardware store that sells paint.

Back to Gold Rush, they have finished buying their supplies and are heading back to renovate the room. Meanwhile, Synergy is still discussing ideas. The others are pleading with Michael to go to Ace. Sean is upset because it’s nighttime, and they’re still pacing around. He wants to bloody strangle Michael.

Gold Rush

They have gotten back to the room and are getting to work on the renovation. Gold Rush begins to paint the room. Charmaine has now transformed into Bob Villa. She tells them they need a second coat of red paint. Tarek says that listening to Charmaine talk is like listening to nails on a chalkboard. Nails on a chalkboard sound better, though. She constantly has diarrhea of the mouth, and it makes Tarek want to shove a paint can down her throat.

Charmaine is still irritating her team. Lenny tells her to calm down and shut up or they’ll nail her lips together.

Synergy

Michael finally started getting supplies as he sent Roxanne, Allie, and Sean to get the electronics while he, Andrea, and Tammy went to Ace Hardware. They’re running out of time, and Michael is worrying about fake trees. He can’t make a decision to save his life.

Sean, Roxanne, and Allie tell Michael about all the electronics they bought. Allie can’t believe Michael made them run down all the stuff they’ve bought. Michael doesn’t trust them because he wasn’t a part of the orgy.

Andrea has picked out a few colors for Michael to choose from and wants him to quickly choose. Michael, however, can’t make a simple decision as to which color he likes and has to call Sean. The electronics gang laugh their butts off at how stupid Michael is. Sean says that Michael is a wanker.

Synergy gets back to the room to renovate. Michael tells Bill they’ll be working all day because they just got back from Ace. Bill wonders what the heck they’ve been doing all day if they just came back from Ace. Michael tells him they wanted to make sure everything was satisfactory. By they, he means him.

Bill asks him what renovations they are doing. Michael says they are just going to paint the walls. Bill is in amazement that they’re just going to paint the walls. He asks Andrea what she thinks of Michael as a PM. Andrea lies through her teeth and tells Bill she thinks Michael is doing a great job.

Sean and Andrea begin discussing the color scheme. Andrea then tells Sean that everyone thinks she’s a dictator, but she’s not. I agree. She’s not a dictator. If she were, she would have killed all of the other Apprentices, George, Carolyn, Bill, Ivanka, and maybe even Melania.

Synergy continues to work, and their room is starting to take shape. Sean says it looks great, but they could still lose. Any PM for Gold Rush has got to be better than Michael.

Gold Rush

Bill checks out their work and asks where Lenny is. They tell him Lenny and Lee went to get their musical stuff. Charmaine tells Lenny that they need him and Lee because the three of them are working their butts off. It would be better to have the two of them there to make it 5 because 5>3.

Tarek is upset Lenny ditched them. He says they could have easily not done any work. You would get fired for that, Tarek. He says nothing is finished. Lenny doesn’t realize they’re in deep s***.

On the road, Lenny and Lee are lost. They think they are going the wrong way, but they aren’t entirely sure. They can’t see out of the car because they bought out an entire electronics store.

Lenny and Lee finally come back and have 20 minutes to get everything ready for the execs to judge. Charmaine tells Lenny he’s crazy for thinking he can get it done. Don’t call a Russian crazy, Charmaine. You don’t want to end up at the bottom of the Hudson River. Lenny just wishes Charmaine knew the meaning of the words “shut’ and “up.”

Synergy

Michael welcomes the execs and shows them the room Synergy decorated. Michael explains their concept and speaks very monotonously. The execs let a group of kids see the room. The kids don’t seem too enthused probably because they heard Michael talk.

Gold Rush

The execs then head over to see Gold Rush’s room. Lenny tries to do the demonstration, but it’s hard to understand him. They bring in the kids who immediately ooh and ahh over the room. These kids must not get out much.

The Decision

Synergy and Gold Rush meet up with the execs to find out who won. Glen or Rich calls up Donald to deliver the news. He tells Trump that Synergy’s idea was better because they had different areas of interest and emphasized teamwork. Donald congratulates Synergy and tells them their reward is to take a sick girl on a shopping spree at Toys R’ Us.

Let's skip ahead a bit. In the suite, Tarek and Charmaine complain about Lenny abandoning them during the task. Meanwhile, Lee is coaching Lenny to try to keep him around. Lee says he will do anything for Lenny because Lenny is his “friend.” Brokeback Mountain: Apprentice Style.

The Boardroom

Donald asks what went wrong, and Charmaine quickly blames Lenny. Lenny says Charmaine is hard to manage and is extremely negative. It’s Charmaine vs. Lenny. Charmaine could probably take him.

Bill brings up their earlier meeting with the execs. Bill wonders how they only spent 10 minutes with them. It’s because they didn’t ask a million questions like Michael did, Bill. Lenny said he wasn’t trying to please the execs. Hello, Lenny. The execs are the ones judging you.

Donald then brings up their theme saying that some people don’t like music. Lenny asks Trump if he likes singing and dancing, and Trump replies that he’s a great singer. After hearing your version of “Green Acres” Trump, I can say that your singing makes my ears bleed.

Carolyn then asks Lenny what would happen if the equipment breaks. She says that all of their equipment is expensive. Lenny asks is $99 too much for a keyboard. $99 for a keyboard! Who would pay that much for a keyboard? Oh right, I forgot. Lenny would.

Donald then asks Lenny about the presentation. Lee defends Lenny by saying it would look bad if the PM didn’t do the presentation. When you can’t understand a word the man says, it may not be a good idea to let him talk.

Donald asks Lenny if he lost control of his team. Lenny says he didn’t but Charmaine quickly says otherwise. Lenny rips into Charmaine saying that all she did was paint two doors. How would you know, Lenny? You were gone for an hour.

Donald starts asking Gold Rush who should be fired. It becomes obvious that Lenny is the target for firing. Lee is the only other one who thinks Charmaine should be fired. Donald asks Lenny who he is bringing back. Lenny says he’s bringing back Charmaine and Lee as an advocate. You’re practically giving away the fact that Lee is gonna back you up, Lenny.

Donald realizes it’s baloney, and finally fires Lenny.

Gold Rush says goodbye to Lenny. Charmaine gets a little upset that Lenny doesn’t like her anymore. Lenny says he doesn’t like people with 10,000 faces. She doesn’t have 10,000 faces. If she did, why did she choose that one?

Gold Rush heads back to the suite as Lenny rides off into the cab. In his goodbye speech, Lenny says that he has no regrets. He wishes everyone luck, especially Lee. Lenny hopes his boyfriend wins this. The most entertaining Apprentice is gone. I hate you, Trump.

Although I didn't do a full summary of episode 8, I will give you a brief review.

Synergy gangs up on Michael in the suite.

Donald wants one person from Synergy to head over to Gold Rush. Michael volunteers because no one from Gold Rush wants to kill him yet.

The teams will be working at a 7-11 store. They will launch a new sandwich called a Crappy Pizza Sandwich.

Synergy is also going to give away hats. I'm not sure how that ties in with a pizza sandwich.

Synergy hands out flyers to people passing on the street late at night.

Gold Rush prices their sandwich at $6 which is $6 more than I would spend for it.

Synergy has theirs at $4 and gets people from last night coming in and buying the sandwich.

Lee constanly complains about the price. He tries to work out a deal with a local business that wants 1,000 sandwiches. Lee can't go any lower than $2.50, and the deal is off.

In the boardroom, Synergy is declared the winner. They get to go to Washingtone D.C. to meet with some senator.

Gold Rush sulks in the suite, and we then get to the boardroom.

Leslie is quickly blamed for charging $7.99 for a sandwich.

She brings in only one person, Lee, and gets fired for it.

Next time:

The Apprentices design a souveneir tourist program for the national park.
One team screws up so bad they miss their boat literally.

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