The Real World: Key West - Episode 11 Summary

'Martin Is Gay!' By volsfan

Skinny update: Paula has not been seen eating this week and is in a dangerous situation so please hide all leaves of lettuce, rice patties and red hots while reading this summary!

The episode begins with a “let’s solve the world’s problems” discussion between Ty and Slutty. Everything is going well as they are discussing if being gay/straight is something everyone is born with until Slutty breaks it down. Slutty says, “your (Ty’s) penis goes up when you see a man and Martin’s (Slutty’s boyfriend) goes up when he sees me.” Slutty, your boyfriend’s penis has a mind of it’s own and before this episode is over we will just see what turns-on Martin (Slutty’s boyfriend)…will it be the slutty one? However, I must say that this viewpoint really makes a scientific statement. * rolls eyes *

Ty is going to have dinner with a few fag hags and wants to make sure everyone meets up later to come back home in their SUV. They all make plans of the time and place to meet and Ty is off. I know something isn’t right here as we wouldn’t have been shown this scene if everyone makes the peep meet. Damn MTV editors…

Martin (Slutty’s boyfriend) is on the phone explaining that his dad is very sick and he is really worried about him. Martin’s (Slutty’s boyfriend) dad was diagnosed with lung cancer a few months back and now has pneumonia. Slutty decides to play 20 questions:

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· What’s wrong with him?
· How’s he feeling?
· What will be the outcome?
· Did he eat dinner?
· Did he have a bowel movement?

Finally, Martin (Slutty’s boyfriend) gets tired of the unanswerable questions and slams down the phone! I have to admit that this is a good way to get the bitch to shut up…besides stuffing her mouth with something.

Ty is out with the fag hags and the other roomies are out at another bar. The night ends and it is time to meet up at the SUV. The roomies make it but Ty is nowhere to be seen. The roomies leave and get back to the house to be greeted by Ty as he took a taxi home. Ty introduces the roomies to the fag hags and a cute little Russian boy by the name of Bhati.

Two things of note:
1) WTF kind of name is Bhati? I understand it is Russian by geez…couldn’t mom and dad find a name that is easily spelled and pronounced?
2) In the past I have been known to watch a little WWE ever now and then and I have decided to nickname Bhati to Scottie too hottie. They are both cute blond boys…why not?

Slutty, John and that girl that never dates outside her race can’t decide if Scottie too hottie is gay or not. Slutty is confused because he doesn’t “look” gay. WTF does that mean? Seriously, he doesn’t have to have “GAY” tattooed across his forehead does he? Do these three expect every one to announce their sexual preference upon introduction? I am going to let these three in on a little secret…I think Scottie too hottie likes to have sex with other men but I don’t know if he is gay or not… he never said!

John, Zach and Slutty hide on the patio overlooking the pool to spy on the two guys getting it on! John tells us in a confessional that Slutty hasn’t been around “gay action” and this is very educational for her. * whispers to you guys * I don’t know if John has been around a lot of “gay action” but please don’t tell anyone but I would really like to show John a full night of some “gay action”…ifyouknowwhatimeanandithinkyoudo!

The boys take their “man sex” to the shower (at least they like clean action) while Slutty sneaks in to watch. The girl that never dates outside her race was also in there looking around but did or said anything of substance. After making little kid noises and giggles everywhere the one night stand comes to an end.

Ty tells us that he and his friends have a “beef-o-meter” to rank the people they have sex with and Scottie too hottie is an 8…not prime rib but a spicy ham. Hell, he was a piece of meat no matter how you rank him but he would be about a 6 on my scales. However, I like a manly man with chest hair.

Being the mathematician of the bunch, Slutty adds 2 and 2 together to get 5! Martin (Slutty’s boyfriend) has a guy friend that spends the night on occasion. Here is how the rationalization goes in Slutty’s mind:

GAY FORMULA

Martin (Slutty’s boyfriend) + guy friend + guy friend sleeps over + guy wears jeans + Martin likes said guy + guy is blond = MARTIN IS HOMOSEXUAL!

In the “no no, this is all about me” category, Slutty is talking to Martin (Slutty’s boyfriend) on the phone. Even though Martin’s dad has pneumonia, lung cancer and is in the hospital and Martin trying to be strong for his family the drama queen Slutty has to make it all about her. She accuses Martin (Slutty’s boyfriend) of being gay! (See gay formula above)

OY!

OH.THE.DRAMA.

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