The Amazing Race: All-Stars - Episode 7 Summary

'Jet Lag' By ARnutz

Last time on The Amazing Race All Stars… oh the heck with recapping, go read Michel’s summary!

The teams are leaving Zanzibar and the producers had the brilliant idea to provide them with a predetermined flight, but they are free to use any other flight available. The first team out, at 4:20 am, are the Schmirna’s, who still believe that Mirnglish is the universal language. They must travel to Warsaw, Poland. Teams have the option of taking a prearranged flight, which will arrive the next day at 12:30 pm, or making their own flight plans. At 4:28 am, Danny and Oswald head out. These 4 head to a travel agent, which isn’t open yet, to see if they can get a better flight.

Uchenna and Joyce leave more than 3 hours later at 7:55 am and go to a South African Airlines office. They call the travel agent to see if they can get a flight booked. The beauty queens leave the pitstop at 8 am and head to the travel agent. They make the lady hang up and tell Uchenna and Joyce to call back later. The beauty queens get their flight first and they are off to catch a plane that leaves at 12:30. Uchenna and Joyce get a flight that leaves at 3:20 pm and will connect on the same flight in Frankfurt that the beauty queens are on. They will arrive in Warsaw at 9:10 am. Schmirna and Danny & Oswald get a flight that leaves at 4 pm, connecting in Nairobi and Amsterdam and will arrive at 9:45 am.

Meanwhile, three boobs leave the pitstop at 3:15 pm. Two of the boobs ask if Warsaw is here and the third boob says “No. It’s in Poland.” The two boobs say, “I look like a Polish girl. They’re blond.” The third boob says, “How do you know they’re blond? You don’t even know where Warsaw is.” Um. D? You’re not really blond and you look more like a German beer wench or the Swiss Miss maiden than a Polish girl. Just put on these leiderhosen. There! Look at that! They get to the travel agent to find out the flight the Schmirnas and Danny & Oswald got on is full. They find out there are no more flights and decide to take the prearranged one.

ADVERTISEMENT

The Guidos finally leave the pitstop at 7:01 pm and go straight to the airport for the 7:55 pm flight. They are relieved when they find the three boobs waiting for them hiding from them. This flight will connect through Kilimanjaro and Amsterdam. They get to Kilimanjaro to find they cannot get on the connection because they are too late! ...or Romber paid the pilot to take off without them. Joe runs out on the tarmac and lays in front of the plane so it can’t leave without them! Ummm… I mean he goes out the door and waves wildly to get the pilot’s attention to stop the plane… to no avail. Now they are stuck again.

The three boobs and the Guidos find out the next flight out is at 6 am, just 3 hours before the other teams will land in Warsaw. Over in Frankfurt, Uchenna and Joyce are yanked off their connecting flight because Romber paid off the pilot in retaliation for that incident in TAR 7. Dustin and Kandice go on without them. The Guidos and the boobs are finally on their next plane. The beauty queens arrive in Warsaw at 9:07 am and Danny & Oswald and the Schmirnas arrive at 9:22 am, 23 minutes earlier than expected!

The teams that are in the northern hemisphere have to find Chopin, who is still dead, playing his piano at Czapski Palace. Hey! He looks pretty good for a dead guy! The clue tells them it’s a detour! They must choose between “perfect pitch” and “perfect angle”. In perfect pitch, teams have to make their way to Prymas Palace, choose a piano, tune it and have a guy play a perfect Chopin tune. In perfect angle, teams must make their way to the Escada boutique, pick up a mannequin, bring it to Panoramik Laboratory, and x-ray it to get their next clue. Dustin, having played the piano before, had her team choose perfect pitch.

The Schmirnas get in their cab and ask the driver if he likes Polish hot dogs and Polish sausage. Um. *gigglefits* He doesn’t reply. Little do they know, the guy was paid off by Romber to never speak to these two in retaliation for beating them out of that post office and to the mat at the end of the world.

Danny and Oswald get a cab too and don’t really have too many problems, or at least we weren’t shown any. The beauty queens finish tuning their piano, get a clue on sheet music and have to figure out it means to get to the Jan III Sobieski Lobenski statue for their next one. The Schmirnas are lost and getting no help. They say they feel like “we’re the plague”. Over at sequesterville, Romber is smiling. Danny and Oswald get to the pianos courtesy of their lovely cab driver Andy, who has no problem helping them... probably because Romber paid him to help them. Finally, the Schmirnas get directions from a hotel concierge.

The beauty queens arrive at the statue for their next clue, which tells them to go to the pitstop! What happened to the roadblock??? They are team #1, win a trip to Puerto Rico and Phil yammers on about how they may become the first female team to win. Don’t worry, he has about 17,000 hours to stand there until the last team arrives. He’s got to fill that time somehow. As we've seen in the past, this phrase means nothing. Plus in TAR Asia, a female team did win, so there you go.

Uchenna and Joyce, despite Romber's interference, finally arrive in Poland. Danny and Oswald choose the piano task and Oswald finds out Danny’s been keeping a secret and he can play the piano! At this point, we are switching back and forth between Danny and Oswald and the Schmirnas at the piano tuning task and Uchenna and Joyce trying to find the clue which will take them to the detour. I will spare you the details. Uchenna and Joyce are looking around a school and opening doors claiming they hear a piano. Schmirna thinks they need to clean the strings and that will solve the problem and Danny & Oswald keep breaking the strings. They think they may change tasks.

It turns out that Danny and Oswald decide to stay, but the Schmirnas decide to switch to the x-ray thing. Uchenna and Joyce finally arrive at the pianos. Danny and Oswald finish tuning, have the guy play his piece, get their next clue and head to the statue. They get to the pitstop in 2nd place. Uchenna and Joyce tune their piano, get their next clue and get to the statue and the pitstop in 3rd while the Schmirnas carry the mannequin and head off to x-ray it.

Finally, the three boobs and the Guidos get their connecting flight in Kilimanjaro, which is 12 hours behind the original schedule and they’ve been traveling for 30 hours! Meanwhile, the Schmirnas finish their task and get to the pitstop in 4th.

The beauty queens, being so far ahead, are going to leave the pitstop at 10:54 pm, before the three boobs and the Guidos even get to Poland! The clue tells them they will take a charter bus to Auschwitz. There are 2 charter busses, one leaving 3 hours after the other.

The Guidos and the three boobs finally get the detour clue. The Guidos choose the mannequin task, which they have some problems with and the three boobs choose the piano task and they start breaking strings.

Danny and Oswald leave the pitstop at 1:06 am. The three boobs finally arrive there in 5th place. Uchenna and Joyce leave the pitstop at 2:26 am and the Guidos arrive at the pitstop, but are told by Phil that it is a non-elimination leg and they are now “marked” for the next leg. They tell us they are getting that déjà vu feeling like they had in TAR 1 and were in Alaska. It’s no fun being at the back of the pack and having to make up 10 – 12 – 14 hours.

...and for the second hour of this thing (which I guess is Episode 8), Cyndimaus will be along shortly!

Page Index: 1

Discuss This Summary