The Mole 2 - Episode 9 Summary

'Darwin’s Theory of Who is The Mole' By JeffGator

Unfortunately the show starts out with a close up of Al’s face. He complains that he has no idea who the mole is. That gives me the hope that he will be eliminated from this episode. No such luck
He is my least favorite contestant from the series and reminds me of the obnoxious jerk in high school that everyone wanted to strangle. But for now, the best I can do is take off my shoe and throw it at the TV screen whenever he appears. I’ve gone through five television sets since the show premiered.

Darwin confesses that Al and Bull seem especially chummy lately. We are then shown a clip of the 2 hugging each other in a lake. I don’t remember that challenge. Is this a wet t-shirt contest gone bad? Not a pretty sight.

We now learn that the contestants are in Italy, where they are given their next clue. It talks about there being 4 more losers left. I think the count is a little off because I see 6 losers left!

Bull is then given the opportunity to neutralize another player by planting a Mole sticker in their journals. He was selected because he was the last person to leave the table at breakfast. It’s pretty obvious that Bull has never made it a day without finishing all the food left on the table. Finally he is rewarded for this. However, if he fails in his mission…he will be the one neutralized and not be eligible for an exemption.

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Game 1:
Later in the day, Anderson arrives in a little green car to explain the rules of the next game. By the looks of Anderson’s car, it’s very clear to me that they are not paying Anderson enough to host this show. Anderson asks which 2 of the 6 contestants like to drink wine. Al and Heather show Anderson their AA cards and raise their hands.

The other four must figure out how to put Anderson’s car inside the greenhouse which is next door, in two and a half hours. The car also has to be able to start. This reminds me of a senior prank that I attempted to do to my principal, my last year of high school. My friends and I were going to try and take apart his Lexus and re-assemble it in the gym. In our best interests to be allowed to graduate high school, we decided against it. However, someone did put his car up for sale in a local newspaper and listed the school’s number. I won’t name any names though.

Meanwhile Al and Heather are taken away where they are given some wine and learn about the game that they must play. They have 90 minutes to fill up 5 bottles of wine with the juice that they produce with their own two feet. Anderson then announces that Al has size 14 feet and shops at the same shoe store as Shaq. Al is the first to stomp and meanwhile Heather starts downing some wine. He then uses what appears to be a sock to pour the juice into the wine bottles. Blech! Can you imagine how awful it would be for someone to have to drink this stuff? Well, your worst nightmare is about to come true.

Heather takes Al’s place in mashing the grapes while Al begins to down some wine. I screamed at my television set to try to stop him but it was no use. Al is bad enough sober and I was terrified to see what he would be like drunk.

Back to the car challenge. Darwin realizes that there has to be an easier way to get the car in the greenhouse without disassembling it. They also realize that the lock on the door is a combination and begin to search for the right numbers.

At the wine challenge Al and Heather fill up all 5 bottles and win the team $10,000. But then they lose it all when they fail a challenge where they must fill up some bottles of wine without spilling a drop.

Back to the car challenge where Dorothy figures out the combination to the lock, once again adding to the stereotype that Asians are good with numbers. They reassemble the car and place it in the greenhouse with only minutes to spare. Anderson puts the key in the ignition and to everyone’s amazement the car actually starts. Whether or not it can actually move is another story, but we never will get to find that out. All we know is that the completion of this challenge has won them $20,000.

Al and Heather are then told by Anderson that they must convince the other 4 contestants to drink one gross bottle of their freshly stomped wine. This will add $10,000 to the pot. Against their better judgment all of the players agree to do it. Bribs is the first to drink it and while watching it on television, you know that his brother had a smile on his face. Bribs drinking wine that has come from Al and Heather’s feet is pretty good “revenge” for Bribs peeing on his brother’s face when they were younger. I guess it’s true that what goes around, comes around.

Anderson collects the journals and we discover that Bull did in fact neutralize another player during the car challenge—Dorothy. So Dorothy cannot win an exemption this round. But according to katem and my mother, Dorothy doesn’t need it because she is the Mole!

Anderson then goes into each person’s room in the middle of the night to wake them up for a night game. Bull is a little surprised to see Anderson, since he is used to Al coming into his bedroom at night, not Anderson. They learn that they must hit a ball around in a circle without going out of order until 6AM and they will add $30,000 to the pot. I remember doing this “challenge” in kindergarten. You know that the show is running out of ideas when the producers steal ideas from an elementary school.

The players then sit in a circle and hit a ball around. If someone hits the ball out of turn then the game is over. After an hour or so, Al is excused from the game for being a no good drunk and is sent to bed. Heather also uses her intoxication as an excuse to leave the game. Bill is then offered an exemption if he hits the ball out of turn and ends the game. He says “Let’s go home!” and hits the ball twice. I really don’t blame him. Whether or not he really needed that exemption (probably not, since I believe that he is the mole) at least it ended that asinine game.

But Bill does not win the exemption because that night they discover that not only did Bribs end the game earlier by hitting the ball twice…but so did Darwin! Well Darwin did not hit the ball twice, but he did convince Dorothy to hit it out of turn. Does that mean that Darwin could be the mole? Well, we’re not given much time to consider the possibility because the elimination round is soon to occur.

After a quiz where the questions seem to revolve around the size Al’s humongous feet we are then taken to “Tribal Council” as Kokoro calls it. With Bribs being second to last we are all expecting his screen to appear red and for him to be eliminated. But surprise surprise, the last player shown, Darwin, gets the boot. This series has proven that it doesn’t matter if you are shown first (Myra) or last (Darwin), you can be eliminated in any order.

We are shown some clips of Darwin to remember him by, which include him wearing a bunny suit and being naked in bed with Al. Geez, that’s certainly not how I would want to be remembered. Bribs and Al says some kind words about the man…but how could they not! Darwin was the man. But I guess he really was clueless about the identity of the mole.

Darwin’s theory of Evolution may be impressive, but his theory on who the mole is, was certainly not, as he became the newest person eliminated from the show.

In closing, I would just like to make a statement that is inspired by Skyraider’s post Katie is an animal! But it's not The Mole. She's a fat, stupid COW!

Al is an animal! But it’s not The Mole. He’s an obnoxious, stupid jackass!

And yes, a jackass is an animal. It's like a donkey I believe, only more obnoxious.

And farewell to Darwin, one of my favorite players. The guy showed so much class in my opinion and I know that you’re supposed to bash the contestants in these summaries, but I absolutely refuse to say a word against Darwin.

With him gone, I’m all about Bribs.

Next week on the mole: With 5 players left, it looks like an alliance could be formed between the 2 prettiest players left on the show, Dorothy and Heather. I'd like to see those 2 women in an "alliance" if you know what I'm talking about. Hell, I don't even know what I'm talking about. But stay tuned so we can watch another episode where there's no chance in hell of Bill being eliminated because he is indeed the mole.

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