Big Brother 5 - Episode 6 Summary

'Snag the Veto, Spoil the House' By AMAI

Previously on Big Bother 5, Marvin won HoH and nominated Lori and Holly. This long-lost recap of a Tuesday episode is brought to you by me because Webby likes a complete set of recaps. Producing a recap so long after the fact has its own set of pros and cons. On the one hand, it’s very interesting to recall dynamics and early relationships. On the other hand, it’s difficult to refrain from spilling all sorts of beans.

However, you need to understand that I use certain nicknames because by late August I’ve developed a severe dislike of certain people, which manifests itself in derogatory nicknames, namely Cowpat for Michael the Non-Savant Cowboy and TwinBeast for Adria/Natalie.

The episode begins with diary room (DR) whining. Brainiac Lori thinks she was nominated because of the $10,000 she accepted. It’s probably as much if not more to do with putting everyone else on the PB&J diet as a condition of winning that money, Lori, you complete idiot.

Jase, the leader of the Four HorseExcrement Alliance, considers Lori to be a “gamer,” who has allies. No "gamer" I know of would have taken the stupid $10,000 and still remained perplexed as to the reason for her subsequent nomination for eviction.

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Diane either thinks the plan is to get rid of Holly or wants the plan to be to get rid of Holly. Will thinks he can pull together enough votes to get rid of Holly. Sweet Holly. What could possibly make these HGs want to get rid of her?

Holly, the subject of these whirling DRs, is feeling sad. She isn’t completely stupid. She senses something going on. She’s not sure what but her animal antennae are quivering. It might just be the breeze that blows everytime she moves her giant empty head, or it might be something is definitely happening and as far as she's concerned, it better be something that puts her in the centre of attention. She lives to be the centre of attention.

Holly takes time to talk to Cowpat. I’d forgotten about that about her. Holly has done all the math and worked out all the permutations. She has come to the conclusion that Nakomis wants to vote her out. (Nakomis is she who appeared in the cast list as Jennifer but nobody has called her Jennifer since week 2.)

Cowpat, with his ear to the ground (as a Neanderthal he pretty much has no choice) tells her it won’t happen and she’s safe. The Horse-Plops have votes lined up like drunken ducks to keep her in the house. But have they? The Steaming Pile runs to Scott and Jase to share the benefit of his deep Household connections:

Cowpat: “I dun lurned Holly could maybe the one to be leavening on ‘Viction Day! What’er we gone do?”

Scott instructs Cowpat to control his sister. “Half-sister, and Ah doan know’er. How kin Ah conterroll her?” bleats Cowpat. He has been a joke from day 1 as far as I'm concerned.

Cowpat is willing to try and he's stupid enough to believe he can pull it off all suave-like. He botches the job. Nakomis may look like a loony, but Cowpat actually was dropped on his head at regular intervals throughout childhood. The two of them “discuss” the vote. She asks him whom he will be voting out. He says the plan is to get Lori out, not quite a whole answer to her question but one that would have satisfied him, had roles been reversed.

Nakomis explains in a DR that they want her vote but won't give her all the details about what’s going on. She’s “not cool” with that. I end up liking Nakomis, but her voice is kind of dead in these early episodes. I want to call her Inacomis, since she sounds like she's kind of in a coma.

Will Takes A Stab At Strategizing. Will DRs he and Karen have come up with a brilliant plan. It is called Operation Security Blanket. Pause for laughter. They will tell the Horsetwats that they’re going to vote unanimously to evict Lori but then they'll spring a surprise. They will vote to evict Holly instead! Brilliant, eh? But wait, there's more!! After Holly is gone, the Anti-HorsePooheads will insist they did vote to evict Lori. The intended result is the Four Horsed!cks will be arguing with each other about who betrayed whom and they will nominate each other or attack each other with knives and somebody will be removed Justin-style from the house.

Will and Lori are very pleased with themselves and feel certain Lori will remain in the house and Holly the Annoying HorseTwat will be sent packing.

Filler Segment: Cuddle Bunnies. It’s amazing to recall that Diane & Drew were an item as early as Week 2. In these early heady days, Diane used to bore whomever would listen about how beautiful Drew is. He also reads the Bible (not a turn-on for me, but maybe for some of you?)

Will also enjoys gazing at Drew,and says he's “like a diabetic in a candy store.” Blech. But note that Diane DRs they’ll keep Drew around as long as possible; she generously sees him being “the last man standing.”

Pseudo-Strategizing Sessions. Everyone gathers (except the nominees it appears) to talk about whom to evict. Diane doesn’t care who goes and she’ll vote the way others want her to.

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