Big Brother 5 - Episode 26 Summary

'Whatever Happened to Da Girl's Club?' By andee

A Rundown in Two Parts: Description and Words Spoken:

I. A Rambling Wrap-Up:
Well, well, well, times do change, eh?
First we had the boy horsemen against the girl jockeys.

Now we get the all-along fairly predictable boyfriend/g/f with the cowboy, you know the two horsemen and the horseman's gal, and then the leftover females. Count it up! Three against two, uh uh uh. Oh.

God is on somebody's side so far. There waz even praying in this ep, in the weight room, even. Bring me a miracle, god. Pump me up. Let us be safe, dear lord. Oh, yah. Amen. Let's take our vows of iron. Let us take a risk to trust Diane. Whatever you want Lord, not what We want, o no, Lord, please help us.

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Let's back up. God, if we're gonna pray, let us all ask for less repeat material. Gee, Marvin is a threat to the others, now we haven't heard that before, eh? Our man Marvin, voted out last week, is actually compared now to one of the fish, a creature named "Mohawk" who 'porned' his two tankmates. Oh, please don't talk about me when I'm gone. Wonder if he'll ever see this footage later.

Christ, not you Jesus, forgive me, but is this show boring any of you? Can any of these people speak an intelligent sentence? Maybe Nakomis, let me find one somewhere. Diane spoke in bad grammar again--it's so hard, ain't it hard to screw over your supposed comrades to hey, do what you hafta do for yourself. Diane, really, have you ever done anything else, inside or outside the house?

Diane, Dicey, Di-do, the mastermind, hey, what a stroke of down-right brilliance, ask other people to throw the veto power game to you! What is this, a sleazy wrestling match or a scandalous horse race? Oh, yeah, it does involve the two horsemen again. O my god, each person gets a cage, and dagnabit, all raaaaht, you can actually cheat in there by throwing yer tools to other peeples. Karen couldn't really see--are you that naive or just a leetle bit too sure of yourself, woman? Di said you wouldn't know what hit you until you walked out the door, nosiree. Nak-ee noticed somethin wazzup, hey, why did the guys toss Di-doo their own golf clubs, anyways? Heeeeee, that Cowman is sure takin a mighty risk here. By god, o lord, Di wins, oooo----eee.

Then the reel phun begins. Di will use her veto power to save...hey, their relationship is totally separate from the game....lil ol Drew. Then, asking Nak-ee whom she wants to chop into pieces, the Nachre says, well, there's only one other person on the couch, and it gots to be Karen. Oh crap, o cripes. Da miracle done happened. At least half of it.

II. Afterthoughts: Random (Un)Quotable Quotes:

Cowman: "Ah would luv a picture of my byootiful fee-ah-say."
Karinduh: "I know whoever walks outta here this week is part of the jury."
Nak-ee: "I had hardcore promises with both Diane and Karen."

Cowman: "Looks run en the fam'ly."
Nak-ee: "I haven't caught Diane in anything directly".
Nak-ee: *"My morals will tear at my heart and rip it to shreds every time I cross one of them...My morals need to be quiet this week". (*Winner, Quote of the Evening)
Di-do: "If I win veto...you've got to let me win."
Drew-due: "Don't sleep with me tonight". (or did Di say this?)

Cow-suck: "Ah would luv you *forever*!"
Di-do: "I hate fish". "We've got interesting fish in there."
Di-do: "Nak and K-duh are very intelligent, they had to'ave looked down and seen that the three of us were working together."
Nak-ee: "I have absolutely no clue what Di is going to do, ya know?"
Di-do: "I am in an awesome position. I lie to people. That could come back and bite me on the (expletive deleted)."
K-duh: "I want to grab Di-do and pin her against the wall."

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