Cupid - Episode 8 Summary

'Everyone Loves Lisa' By Swami

This week, Lisa is going to visit each guy on his home turf—but we don’t know that yet. First we have to suffer through some “host chat” with Brian McFayden.

Okay, I’ll admit this guy has slowly grown on me. Maybe he is ready for Prime Time after all. I especially like how he opens each show with a colorful put-down of the resident Harpies—Laura and Kimberly. Today he calls them “beasts.” Then he gets more detailed. Laura is a “Doberman with blonde highlights” and Kim has “horns”. While the audience laughs Kim gamely puts both hands up to her head and makes devil horns with her fingers.

Laura is wearing a great one-shouldered top and skirt in black. Kim is wearing, well, whatever it is. ??? I just don’t get Kim’s fashion sense; nothing she wears is flattering. Brian is in an open-collared pink shirt with okay looking hair. I don’t think he has styled his hair the same way twice yet.

They recap last week’s show, which began with Paul getting the boot. I try to care, but gone is gone in my book, so I’m just going to cruise right over that whole segment.

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Next Brian introduces the remaining guys and they take the stage one-by-one to audience applause. Or not. Hank and Evan get the most applause. Renda and Dom get some. Joe and Robert get almost none, although one loyal Robert fan screams alone. This is a switch—last week Robert got quite a bit of applause.

Now that the guys are seated, Brian introduces some clips from the bachelor house. First we watch as they file back in after last week’s live show and Paul’s boot. Everybody looks pretty grim. Then there are a series of individual comments from each bachelor.

Joe says the atmosphere in the house now “is so damn morbid and negative.” “It’s a cut-throat competition.”

Renda chimes in with “Joe is here for the competition, not the girl,” and “I’m not sizing anyone up” for competition.

Evan is shown standing beside Robert and arguing with Joe, who reclines on a bed. Evan saw “nothing wrong” with Robert’s date and challenges Joe as to “what was so wrong” with it.

Robert is worried that “People think I am a psychopath and a weirdo. It’s very damaging for me. It really is.”

Ken says, in reference to his repeat appearances in the boot-off line that he is “pissed off to be thrown under the bus every week.”

And Hank gets the last word. “If it doesn’t lighten up in here, I’m gonna go crazy!” He also says flat-out that the other guys “can’t compete” with him, and that has some of them upset.

Now back to host Brian, who calls out the three boot candidates for this week’s show, Renda Ken and Dominic. The three girls hold hands to support each other in this difficult moment. Aww—isn’t that sweet? Not. Laura & Kimberly have bashed these guys repeatedly and without mercy for weeks. You’d think they would stand up and cheer when one of them is booted! But I digress.

Brian does a very cute job of drawing out the suspense and letting the potential bootees adjust to the situation. He makes another pitch for show sponsor Match.com. This whole show was designed to get more hot young women to sign up for matchmaking services at Match.com. You realize that, don’t you? I mean Match.com has what—about 40 guys signed up for every girl? They need girls desperately! (Dear Match.com, I have now mentioned your name 3 times in my summary. Please consider sending a nice, fat check to me in appreciation for my efforts. Thank you. Sincerely, Swami)

And Ken, hot-bodied cutie Ken is booted. *sob* I will miss my tall, dark and handsome eye-candy. Bye-bye Ken.

Now we finally get to the meat of the show—the dates!
Who will score?
Who will make us snore?
Who will get Lisa to beg for more?
All these questions will be answered after this message from Match.com. (That’s four Match.com summary mentions now!) (Make that five.)

Renda Hits the Streets of NYC

To help Lisa better understand his life, self-proclaimed Street Hustler Renda picks Lisa up in a busy intersection and roams the streets of NYC with her, looking for action. He stops to give tips to another hustler who he has never met before. Um, Renda? Lisa is supposed to meet your friends, not a bunch or random strangers.

Eventually, Renda wanders into a crowded room where there is a Groucho look-alike contest going on. No! Wait! That’s Renda’s family—mom, dad, brother and sister—all in matching Groucho glasses. Too funny! Lisa cracks up. Renda’s dad tells Lisa she “will never be bored” if she marries Renda.

Renda and Lisa do an awful lot of smooching on this date. Not passionate kissing—more like scripted lip action (no tongue please). All done in front of family and friends which I think is a bit, I dunno, creepy? Renda’s family loves Lisa. This is a theme we will see on every date. Get used to it. Everyone always loves Lisa. This is why she has to marry a stranger she meets on a lame TV show.

As the date draws to a close, Lisa tells Renda that this date “has cemented my feelings for you.” Note that she doesn’t say what these feelings are! Just that they are now cemented.

Meanwhile, back in the studio, Laura wastes no time doing a bait and switch in her comments on Renda’s date. First she sounds all positive. “I saw more passion between you guys than before!” then while Renda is smiling happily, she sticks in a knife, “the kiss bugged me a little bit.”

Kimberly tells Renda to never “give up his dreams” or he might “end up resenting Lisa.” I wonder what dreams a street hustler has—besides getting to the next score, that is.

Evan Makes his Play.

Volleyball coach Evan takes Lisa home to his parents’ house. Says he doesn’t live there, but comes home all the time. Probably for the free food, but that’s just my opinion.

Okay, let’s all say it together: Everyone loves Lisa! Evan’s step-mother is clearly shown mouthing the words “I love her!” to Evan. Twice. His friends all say that Evan has never been this happy with a girl before.

Meanwhile, an unhappy Evan is telling Lisa that he “feels disheartened” after seeing the other guys come home all “glowing” after a date with Lisa.

Big news here—Evan kisses Lisa without hiding under any towels or shirts or paper bags. He just kisses her right there in the sunshine! And he is still kissing here as darkness falls. For a nice girl, Lisa gets around a bit, no? But Evan is convinced that Lisa is the right girl for him.

Back in the studio, Laura and Kimberly take on this whole issue of Lisa ‘kissing around’. They tell him that’s the way the show works—get used to it. Only they do it, like, nicer than that. But same message.

Kimberly adds that Lisa and Evan have “a true sexual chemistry”! Evan is very happy with that assessment.

Lisa takes it one step further, advising Evan (on her kissing all the other guys every chance she gets) that he has “to just get past it, or we’re both gonna lose.” Makes you wonder what a future with Lisa would be like, doesn’t it?

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