Survivor: Panama - Episode 4 Summary

'A Series of Unolympic Events' By strid333

So after the credits (hey, we got credits this time!), we start with Day 9 at Al Nami. Yeah, I know that is completely backwards, but with set of individuals, it might as well be backwards. Why? Because they were voting the weakest one out and it was Misty who went and not Ruth Marie. Sally is in the vulnerable position on this tribe because she was allied with Misty. Terry, on the other hand, is not in the vulnerable position and is calling the shots. Dan was making a deal with Ruth Marie and felt that she isn’t the kind of person to stab others in the back the way that Sally would. Whatever. By now we’ve had so many iterations of Survivor, that backstabbing has become so commonplace that it’s like expecting water to come out of your faucet. What? You were expecting wine? Well, that may be the case in Torino, but in North America, it better be water.

So now we turn the attention to Sacaya. Hey, if you though Al Nami were a bunch of misfits, check out these losers. They have nutball Shane, tree-hugging Courtney, and freaky old guy Bruce. And did I mention Cirie? Yeah, she’s the one who openly said that she is afraid of leaves. I guess she doesn’t eat much salad. Aaaaah! It’s a salad made of lettuce leaves! I’m so scared. Give me an artery clogging cheeseburger instead.

Well, anyway, back to the show. Bruce, Shane, and Aras are finding lots of snails. (There’s an Aras? Oh yeah, he’s the crazy new age yoga guy. I already said this tribe has a bunch of freaks. I’m not the kind of person to pick on people but this tribe makes it so easy that it’s like shooting fish in a barrel.) Well, pot met kettle here. Aras was making derogatory comments about Courtney who was doing yoga moves (or at least it looked like yoga moves) on the beach.

Well, the three hunters (Ha! More like gatherers) came back to discover the fire went out, and Danielle was sleeping. This is leading to the big fight that SeeBS was putting in their promos last week. Is this the fight? No. Not yet. It was a mild discussion a lot like a parent talking sternly to a child - the parent being Aras (I know you want to laugh) and the child being Courtney.

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Well, after a little bit of strategizing on both tribes, it is time for a reward challenge. So are the athletes going for gold and a chance to stand on the podium and watch their flag get raised and their anthem get played? No. That’s the Olympics. If you wanted that, you would have to watch CBC or NBC. This is SeeBS where the prize is toilet paper.

So what do these misfits have to do to win the coveted prize of TP? It a relay where they have to bring back giant floating puzzle pieces, and then complete the puzzle. The puzzle itself looks a lot like the game Triominoes. Gee, and people thought curling was weird. At least in that sport, drinking is encouraged. I could see the tribemates crying for a beer rather than a roll of toilet paper after this challenge.

Well, did you want details on this challenge? Yeah? Too bad. You aren’t getting any. It would make for a very boring summary. I’ll just talk about who won. After both tribes got their puzzle pieces in approximately the same amount of time, Sacaya solved the puzzle first and won. Oh yeah, and don’t forget about the name of this show. Exile Island? Yeah, Terry’s going there.

So we go to the losing Al Nami tribe, after the commercial break. After the Olympics and the height of winning and excellence, we need a break from that. Let’s start with the losers. After this sequence, we can really see that Terry is the leader here. These people are just awful. I would’ve thought that Rocketman Dan would’ve stepped up to the plate but I guess that’s wishful thinking. So what are the choices of what to do? Eat, nap, or fire? I don’t know but these guys don’t either.

It’s Sacaya’s turn to be in the spotlight. So they won toilet paper and a little outhouse with some towels. Well, immediately, the tribe thinks that they should use the outhouse as a place to store firewood because it is dry in there. That is everybody, except for Bobby, aka Bob Dog. He wants to “christen” the outhouse by, um, number twoing in there. This grosses out the girls (I agree with the girls), but he proceeds with his business. After dropping the bomb, he announced to the world that he feels ten pounds lighter. Isn’t that just loverly?

On a lighter subject, we turn to Exile Island to see if Terry’s died of starvation yet. Nope, he hasn’t and he got a new clue on where that little immunity idol is hidden. The newest clue said that it is hidden under a rock. Combined with “why” this and “why” that, he found a Y-shaped tree and started looking under the rocks. Sure enough, he found the little idol, under the watchful eye of an owl. What does the idol look like? It’s an ugly little shrunken head that SeeBS cheaped out on in the props department.

So we return to Sacaya. They aren’t happy with where their fire is. They want a new place for the fire. Cirie was described as a person who works her butt off by Aras. He then goes on to complain about others on the tribe. Ooooh, is this the so-called big fight we’ve been hearing about? I think it is. It went a little bit like this:

Shane: Danielle, why don’t you work? Everyone agrees with me.
Danielle: Um, Bob Dog is sleeping right now.
Shane: Don’t change the subject! I’m a chain smoker so that gives me the right to freak out on you.
Danielle: Quit demeaning me!
Shane: Hey, Aras! Do you think Danielle is lazy?
Aras: I sure do!
Danielle: When was the last time you got water?
Shane: The last thing I remember doing was hunting and gathering firewood.
Danielle: Hey, I got snails, too!
Shane: Are you worried about what others think of you?
Danielle: Um, duh. Yeah!
Shane: Well, you don’t have to worry about that because no one will tell it to your face. Cirie, do you think she works hard? Hey, Cirie, why is there blood coming out of your mouth?

Oh well, the excitement of this episode is done so we go back to Al Nami and Day 11. So we see the tribe whine about lack of food. I bet they wished for some wonderful Italian food. Not only do they not have food, but also they suck at catching fish. If fishing derby were an Olympic sport, these guys would be in dead last behind the Ethiopians.

Now it is a great time for the immunity challenge. It’s a balance beam, water carrying challenge that the women should excel at. That said the challenge itself was quite boring so I switched back to the Olympics. I came back to see that Sacaya won. Yay, one set of misfits beat another set of misfits.

So after the commercial break, we return to the loser tribe of Al Nami. Sally excelled in the immunity challenge and wanted to stay in the game really badly. She tried to convince the men that she should stay and Ruth Marie should go. Terry is back so he could take charge again. He’s decided that Sally’s pleas were convincing and told the alliance that Ruth Marie had to go. That made Rocketman Dan unhappy because he promised Ruth Marie the final five. Ruth Marie was oblivious to Sally’s strategizing and didn’t even think she was vulnerable.

This leads to the Tribal Council. Jeff asked his usual questions about drivel. He asked Terry about Exile Island. Terry said that it’s meager but a unique experience. Sally said they talked about the immunity idol on Exile Island. Austin said that he likes to be bossed around by Terry. Jeff told Sally that she rocked in the immunity challenge. Austin said he should’ve poured his water faster. Ruth Marie thought that she’s proven herself. So after these comments, it’s voting time.

We’ve seen Sally vote for Ruthie, saying she’s a really great girl. We’ve also seen Ruth Marie vote for Sally, saying she adores her. The votes are counted and Sally has two votes and Ruth Marie has four votes.

Ruth Marie’s final words consisted of feeling underestimated but no feelings of bitterness. She wished her tribemates good luck.

Next week on Survivor, we can expect Al Nami to get sick to the stomach, Bruce and Courtney don’t see eye-to-eye in the new age philosophy styles of yoga vs. zen, and Sacaya’s outhouse is destroyed after a storm.

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