Survivor: Panama - Episode 5 Summary

'Survivor Strikes Back' By Incognito9

Previously on Survivor:

• Dan recruited Ruth Marie for his next mission into Space.

• On a show that's supposed to be all about roughing it in the outdoors and surviving in a social web of elite and accomplished adults, tribes put together a puzzle to win a toilet... I kid you not.

• After La Mina lost the Reward Challenge, Terry was sent to Exile Island. Once there, he was handed a 4-page packet that included the Hidden Immunity Idol's location, instructions for digging it up, and a script.

• Aras wanted to put his wood in the outhouse. Bobby wanted to put his Raisinettes in the outhouse.

• Danielle and Shane broke up. It was complicated.

• In the Immunity Challenge, teams competed in a Balance Beam event. Casaya scored a solid 9.0, while La Mina faltered on the dismount, just like they did on the parallel bars.

• At La Mina, Sally had penis envy prior to Tribal Council. However, the men's alliance decided that her knee snocks would come in handy if a plague of deer ticks hit their camp. So they axed Ruth Marie.

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So I was given the daunting task of preparing an Episode 5 summary. I must say that there's a lot I should focus on here - this was a great episode. Just when I thought Exile Island was beginning to lose it's touch, BAM... a 3-2-1-1 Tribal Council. This might not be such a bad season after all. Survivor has struck back, and damn, did we feel it or what? 7 people in a tribe, and it took just 3 votes to send someone packing. Awesome. But then I'm thinking... I have a lot to cover in Episode 5, then, don't I? How should I summarize the episode, where do I begin...

And then my work was done for me, folks. How so? Because I stumbled upon this: and yes, I was in as much disbelief as you will be once you see it:

Sally
Day 12 - 7:16 am

So I woke up this morning and realized I was the last girl standing... er um, sleeping in the tribe. I got 2 votes last night at Tribal Council, one was from the MILF and I think the other vote came from that creepy albino guy who always compares the game to Apollo 13. Hey, did you notice that my lips are like bigger than Steve Tyler's?

Dan
Day 12 - 7:35 am

After last night's Tribal Council, I was appalled and outraged. I was outraged and appalled. The other 3 guys told me they felt Sally was a bigger man than I was, so they voted along the same party lines as her. I feel so dejected and left out. This is almost as bad as the time I got beat up by the cooler nerds at U.S. Space Camp when I was 12.

Nick
Day 12 - 9:37 am

Alright, we've had our 2nd Tribal Council as the LaMina tribe, and I'm still here. I think the tribe's keeping me around particularly because I'm such a great conversationalist and I'm really interesting to listen to. I just do whatever Austin tells me to do. In fact, he's telling me what to write down in here right now. I'm a huge tool, and I like men... oh real funny Austin. Way to be mature. Wait, you mean I can't delete that last sentence? Oh I'm sorry, Austin. Don't tell Terry what I did. Please don't. I won't talk back to you again.

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