The Mole 2 - Episode 11 Summary

'Don Ho Should Be Shot' By Femme

Last week on the mole...
Heather cried Kathryn Price-style, the girls team up to oust other players, but remain totally ineffective, and the last cute guy is exectued. Bummer.

Anderson Cooper: Tonight, the molerons get bugged at a fun-house gross-out...
Femme: A popular mole message board is attacked by trolls...
Anderson Cooper: And, one unlikey DAW kisses his 15 minutes of fame goodbye.
Femme: All that and more on tonight's edition of Action Mole News Tonight.

*Cue that infectious Mole Music, which, coincidentally, can be purchased here.*

Femme: Good evening, I'm Femme Blank.
Anderson Cooper: And I'm Anderson Cooper. (pause) Trolls?
Femme: Oh, yeah! You'll have to wait and see. But, first, yet another week has gone by that the remaining molerons are all tricked into unflattering, up-the-nostril, badly-lit confessions. Take a look...

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Bill: blah, blah, blah, I'm the mole, blah, blah, blah...
Heather: Did I mention I'm a good liar? Do you believe me? If I'm such a great liar, am I lying about my lying abilities, or am I telling the truth about being such a good liar. If I am lying, does that mean I'm not a good liar? And if I'm not lying...
Dorothy: *grunt*, *giggle*, *rolls eyes*, *snort*
Al: Wow! I'm so lucky in life. This is it, this could be the one. I'm really lucky.

Femme: In other news, the website 'FindTheMole.com' was attacked this week by trolls, it appears. We have with a a frequent poster on the line; Bebo, can you hear me?
Bebo: Yes, I can hear you Femme.
Femme: Bebo, can you tell us what the scene looked like over there at FindTheMole.com?
Bebo: Oh, it was awful. There were bodies everywhere. Nothing but carnage all season. After that last episode, we had to deal with newbies flooding in by the dozens.
Femme: What were they doing?
Bebo: We were attacked from all sides; half of them were wanting to say "Oooooh, Bribs is so HOTT, I'm so sad he's gone. Waaaaahhh!" and the other half was starting thread after thread with "Did you see the tape on Bribs' bag? Did you see the Mole Killer can in Bribs' hand? He must be the mole!!!"
Cyclehausen: Umm, excuse me! There all a bunch of bleepity-bleeps. They keep bleeping bleeping bleep all over the bleeping place. Bleep them.
Femme: What the???
Bebo: Ah, that's cycle, another poster, our secret weapon. May be a little rough around the edges, but very effective, nonetheless. He was our go-to guy when we ousted the "We heart Rob and Bribs Psycho Fan Club" a few episodes ago.
Anderson Cooper: I hear they've since moved on to make fools of themselves in Bribs' private business website's guestbook. Thank you, Bebo, and good luck over there. Well, back to the news... Reports are trickling in that camera operators in the American Federation of Television and Radio Artists Union are on strike. In related news, tonight's first task calls for the molerons to interview one another with low-budget, shaky, hand-held cameras...

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Heather and Dorothy head off together with there home video camera. Dorothy grunts, sighs, and rolls her eyes through each answer to Heather's questions.

Dorothy: *sighs* You good liar? *grunts* *rolls eyes*
Heather: Am I a good liar? Of course I am, but if I'm really lying about being a good liar, and lets say for the sake of argument that I am really a bad liar, but you believe me anyway, does that make me a good liar after all?
Dorothy: *giggles*

Cut to Bill and Al off together.
Al: What's wrong, Bill? You've been acting strange all day?
Bill: First of all, I'm not strange, I'm the mole. Secondly, I heard about you sleeping with Darwin and let me tell you, sailor, that's just sick. You sissy girl.
Al: Cool. Who do you think is the mole? I really want two guys to be in the finals. You know, I think I could go all the way...
Bill: Idiot.

Anderson Cooper: This just in: an 'O' was seen flashing on the map of Italy. Early speculation is pointing to this meaning Al may be the mole, since he is clearly the most obnoxious player.
Femme: Wait a minute, conflicting reports are indicating that this means Bill is the mole, since the clues pointing to him are so overwhelmingly obvious. We'll keep you filled in as new details become available to us.
Anderson Cooper: In other news, Kathryn Price is back on the DAW circuit, fulfilling her obligations as "mole" before her reign comes to an end. She stated "world peace" and "ending hunger" as her goals for her term as mole.

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Kathryn Price walks in carrying a box of nasty maggots, always a surefire way to wear out your welcome. She greets each of the molerons in turn:

"Hi Heather, how you doing?"
"What's up, Dot?"
"Hey, Al, better pack your bags!"
"Hey Bill, how's all the sabotage treatin' ya?"

By the way, the next game has little to do with bugs and maggots, but since the gross-out factor has worked for every other reality show, it seems ABC just wanted to cash-in on their successes.

Before Bill's predecessor leaves, you can just make out a reflection behind her in the glass. It appears to say 'ILLBAY ISAY ILLSTAY HETAY OLEMAY' (Okay, don't anybody freak out, it's just a blatant rip-off of Dusty Bottoms' oh-so-controversial joke from his Episode 5 summary...)

Anderson Cooper: Still to come on Action Mole News Tonight, the most annoying player since Patrick is finally executed. See if you can guess who!

Commercial Break

Femme: Phew!
Anderson Cooper: So, Femme, you busy tonight?
Femme: Oh. My. Gawd, Anderson, will you just lay off already? I know you're in love with me, but really, all this attention is getting old.
Anderson Cooper: But, you're everything I want in a woman. I need you! I promise, I'll make you the happiest woman on the face of the earth.
Femme: Oh, please, as if I'd go out with you.

(Sorry, everyone, I don't know what got into me...)

Floor Manager: Okay, back in 3... 2... 1...

Anderson Cooper: Welcome back to Action Mole News Tonight
Femme: Tonight, the molerons had to revisit a game that, truthfully, wasn't much fun the first time when it was called "High Rollers". That's right, ABC deals out another dose of card-playing.

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