Survivor: The Amazon - Episode 10 Summary

'Jeers' By dabo

Last week, 16 strangers arrived at a secluded site along the Rio Negro to begin the adventure of their lives. Again. The adventure was soon over for young Ryan, again, and three days later Janet caught the rap for the granola gambit, again. It all happened again and now seven are left. I hope I can stay awake for this episode, those reruns can be pure torture. MB even gave this episode a really lousy title, nothing to work with really, this does not bode well.

DAY 28

Coach and Woody went fishing, enjoying the early morning calm as they floated leisurely on the Rio Negro. Later, Sam, Diane, Rebecca and Cliff, the Populars, feeling secure in their alliance, basking in their own power, decided to make a Pagong Day of it. First, the all-important buff fashion discussion, because looking good is one of the hallmarks of being A-List you know. But then Coach and Woody returned home with no breakfast so, noting also a shortage of firewood, the gang discussion turned to which one of the Expendables would next be fired. The consensus was that the Expendables really needed to get to work.

CLIFF: Well, yeah, I’m booked all day thinking of things to say.

REBECCA: And I’m booked all day coordinating my wardrobe for my spin-off.

SAM: We’re so cool.

Rebecca then got off on a tangent about how she’s an only child and she misses hanging with her parents and watching TV, and how she’s concerned because her mother has been sick. Diane says they’re all concerned about Rebecca’s mom and gosh they haven’t heard from their families in … well, someone else could probably do the math, it’s not Diane’s thing at all.

Meanwhile, Carla, Coach and Woody were all very busy Expendables out dutifully busting their humps gathering massive quantities of firewood.

SAM: I hate to say it but this has all gotten a bit like high school, or some old sit-com maybe. At least we have the luxury of doing less work.

And so the Populars all got busy sunbathing, it just is such a vital part of looking A-List don’t you know. Their behavior didn’t go unnoticed by the hard-working Expendables, who frankly should have sat down on their butts and refused to slave away at it if they have no chance in the game anyway, you ask me.

CARLA: C’mon, get off your butts and do something! They just do jackbleep.

WOODY: Their behavior is incomprehensible, that’s my word for the day. I may be out of my gourd but I don’t think they’re smart for treating the rest of us like dirt.

COACH: It’s just ridiculous, I should have paid more attention to the starting line-up.

Awhile later the treemail arrived and everyone ran around yelling, warming up for the prospect of having to perform physical comedy at the Reward Challenge.

REBECCA: I’m so excited I can’t even control myself!

Way to not let an Expendable upstage a Popular there, Rebecca. Then Cliffy read the message, it turned out they each were receiving $500 and going to the auction.

CLIFF: Oh, hey, this is like my life savings here.

REWARD CHALLENGE: SURVIVOR AUCTION

Norm invited them all to take a seat, explained what fun they were all to have at the Survivor Auction, that some items would be covered, some would come with an extra surprise, some could be put up for auction again even, and that the game would end without notice. Everybody ready for some fun?

Item #1 went up for bid, a slice of cheesecake. Astutely determining that this was a critical moment for the Populars to assert control of the scene, Diane put in her bid; the other Populars sat back to see what would happen, the Expendables dutifully sat back and let the Populars take center stage without a fight. As Diane claimed her prize Rebecca shouted “Girlfriend!” from the bleachers to further reiterate that the Populars are what this show is about.

Item #2 came covered and Sam started the bidding at $40, then Cliffy piped in with a bid of $60, and it went up from there until Sammy claimed the mystery meal for $240. To make things interesting in a “Let’s Make A Deal” sense, Norm offered to trade Sammy a covered dish for what was in the covered dish he’d just bought. Sammy thought about it, tried to determine what would be the cool thing to do, basically extended the moment in true A-List fashion.

NORM: Go with your gut.

Sam’s gut eventually told him to stick with his original purchase, so Norm had him come down and pay up. Norm then uncovered mystery meal #2, what Sam could have traded for but hadn’t: Lasagna! Rebecca again reiterated that the Populars owned the spotlight by salivating over the Italian food from afar. Norm then uncovered Sam’s prize which turned out to be manioc pellets, the same Amazonian popcorn they’d been eating for 28 days. Sam accepted his gag prize with the cool grace of a true A-Lister and extended the moment for all it was worth.

Item #3 also came covered and sparked a bidding war between Cliff, Rebecca and Woody, with Woody eventually claiming the mystery meal for a hefty $400. After paying up it turned out Woody had bought the world’s biggest cheeseburger and a pile of greasy fries, with some condiments.

WOODY: I’m in heaven!

Rebecca, of course, made some noise to let the B-Lister know his place, so Woody quickly went back to his seat to enjoy his meal.

Item #4 was something Diane and Rebecca were intimately familiar with, peanut butter and chocolate! A hot bidding war broke out between Diane, Rebecca and Carla over the treat. Rebecca eventually took the prize for $320, extended the moment with womanly mmmmmmmmm’s, and Cliff took up bleacher duty for her while she was center stage, saying it was the most expensive candy in the history of the world.

Then Norm brought out Item #5, Breakfast! And the scrambled eggs, bacon and pancakes also came with an added surprise, he noted. Coach, realizing that breakfast is the most important meal of the day, jumped in with a bid of $360. Cliff again asserted that it’s the Populars’ show by bidding $380, but then Coach took the meal for a hefty $400. Expendables really have to shell out for it in this show, I tell you. Coach came down to collect his meal, and then Norm got coy because there was still the added surprise with this one.

NORM: Where’s the best place to have breakfast?

COACH: I like to have breakfast at home but a skybox can also be nice.

NORM: In bed?

COACH: Yeah, but it doesn’t happen very often.

Norm brought out the added surprise, a bedroll and pillow for Coach. Coach was so happy he thanked everyone and forgot to make a baseball analogy as he contemplated having breakfast in bed for the remainder of his stay in the Amazon.

Having given an Expendable a truly good moment, the editing then quickened the pace of the game, and in short order we saw Cliff claim his own expensive candy bar, Woody claim a protein shake, and Diane claim a piece of chocolate cake. Then item #9 (by my count) came covered, Sam and Cliffy bid it up over that one, with Sam eventually taking it for $240. This time he got steak and potatoes and joyously extended the moment in true A-List fashion. I don’t blame him, steak and potatoes is way better than Amazonian popcorn. Sam took his seat finally and then Norm brought out the big surprise of the game.

NORM: Another slightly different item, letters from home, news from home.

That sure got everyone’s attention. Well, except Sam, who only had $20 remaining to his name and realized the cool thing for him to do at this point was just sit back, relax, enjoy the show. Norm had one letter for each person, the high bidder would be allowed to claim his or her letter. Cliff silently wished the postal service worked that way for real and wondered if he should bring it up when he got back home, but of course he knew that he would.

Carla jumped in with a bid of $80, then Rebecca bid $100. Diane then jumped in to bid $200, Carla went to $240, Diane to $260, then Carla to $300! Diane paused but then Rebecca said something to her (did they pool their funds? I couldn’t figure out what she said but these A-Listers really know some excellent strategies), so Diane bid $320! Carla, apparently weak from having not gotten a thing to eat, clearly missed the cue and outbid Diane at $340.

NORM: Going once, going twice, sold to Carla!

So, to the horror of Populars throughout the nation, B-Lister Carla claimed the big prize of the day. It was quite touching, actually, as she nervously made her way to Norm in order to collect her news from home, she was plainly overwhelmed with emotion at what she had done. I’ve no doubt that Populars throughout the nation were at that very moment planning demonstrations, writing drafts of letter of protest in their A-List heads, maybe even thinking … well, never mind. Rebecca, of course, saved the day for Populars everywhere.

She cried. All was back to being right in the world, the Populars reclaimed center stage in one brilliant, exquisitely timed burst of emotion! She cried. Too bad she didn’t have her crown with her at that very moment. Diane started crying too.

REBECCA: I’m sorry.

NORM: It’s alright, Rebecca.

Everyone kind of took a moment to look awkward then, even Sam because he realized awkward fit the moment so it really was the only cool thing to do.

NORM: I don’t want this to be a bad thing, the auction is supposed to be fun. I’ve got these other letters here, no reason we can’t put another one up for bid. But only if Carla is good with it, she paid a lot for her letter.

All the Populars everywhere in the world then sat back and relaxed, Norm had put the evil uppity B-Lister on the spot, this would work itself out and there would be no need for demonstrations or letters of protest after all. Good going there, Normy. Carla agreed, she really didn’t have much choice. Rebecca got her act together enough to bid $80, then Diane bid $100 to let everyone know this was a Populars Only scene … well, I guess that’s what she was thinking, I have no idea what it might have been if that wasn’t it. Rebecca made the final bid at $120, saying it was all she had left.

NORM: Once, twice, sold to Rebecca, a letter from home!

And with that the auction was abruptly over, Carla wouldn’t have a chance at the lasagna after all.

DAY 28 CONTINUED

Back at camp Diane and Rebecca had a little gripe session about Carla’s audacity for bidding against them, so now it looks as if Carla is going to be fired soon.

Carla went off by herself to read her letter from her good friends back home, Jennifer, an amazing person. Jennifer is worried about Carla, what she’s having to put up with surrounded by those Hearing People. No doubt. You know, there has always been an aspect of Deaf Activism that I’ve been uncomfortable about and I think I’ve finally put my finger on it; it’s the point at which it treats all of us as if we’re Populars. That’s just so high school or sit-com, you know. Still, it was great to hear that Carla had all the love and support of all the feisty Tortellis back home.

Rebecca then read her letter, with Sam, Diane and Cliff hovering nearby just in case it was bad news. It turned out to be great news, her mom’s cancer is shrinking, it’s almost gone! This news, of course, sparked a little love-in, as well it should.

Meanwhile, Coach and Woody were busy fishing again, and actually caught a fish!

WOODY: That is a beautiful fish. We haven’t eaten this fish yet.

Then they got to talking about Cliff, trying to get him to question why he’s considered A-List right now, which really is suspicious.

COACH: We don’t want to get in too big a hurry, sometimes you want to signal your slugger to bunt.

WOODY: Carla said she doesn’t trust anyone.

COACH: Let’s get back and show everyone our fish.

Night fell, they all went to sleep, the fire popped. Popped, Populars, get it! The symbolism in this show always amazes me.

DAY 29

Coach and Woody set out in the pre-dawn to go fishing again, so Sam took the opportunity to take Cliff aside for a little talk while the ladies continued sleeping nearby.

SAM: I was thinking, when it gets down to the four of us, I know that Diane and Rebecca have sworn never to fire each other. So, I’m going to have to fire you, and I’m sure you’re going to have to fire me. I just want you to know that’s totally cool, no worries.

But Cliff didn’t get the message about the coolness of how things could go, not a bit of it. He kept his calm around Sammy, but later on it turned out he was upset to realize that he wasn’t a real Popular after all, just a Hanger-On. No thought was given to the two of them picking up an Expendable at five and breaking Diane and Rebecca apart in that way, Cliff probably realized Sammy wouldn’t consider that cool at all.

SAM: We’ll cross that bridge when we come to it.

Then a cat swam across the river and a monkey climbed a tree to get away. Cats in water? Climbing a tree to get away from a cat? All is turned upside down in Cliffy’s world at the moment. How could Sam, a full-time ladies man, betray him that way? It didn’t make sense! Crushingly, the only answer was that he wasn’t an actual Popular, just an Expendable allowed to fill the Hanger-On position, such is the hierarchical scheme of things when the stars demand their due, forget all the ensemble cast nonsense.

Treemail came sometime later in the day.

CLIFF: Bad news, guys, it’s the SAT’s!

Sam read the instructions, they were each to take their questionnaires and fill them out in private. These questionnaires would be kept confidential, not shared around with the others in camp. There were questions like “Who doesn’t deserve to win?” and “Who smells the worst?” and such, so they all went to their private spaces to puzzle it all out.

CARLA: Some questions are easy to answer, then it got to some like “Who Needs therapy?” and “Who is a slob?” It made me more aware, think about who is who.

Later, Cliff and Woody went off for a private talk, and Cliff came clean about how he’d been stringing Woody along.

WOODY: You and Coach are the only ones I trust.

CLIFF: Sam is the power player here, he thinks you are a threat to him so he wants you to be fired. Then when it gets down to the four of us he’s going to fire me.

WOODY: He said that to you?

CLIFF: Yeah, because it was the cool thing to do, it’s called hubris.

WOODY: I was appalled, that’s my word for the day. I have a lot of survival skills but Cliff really knows the game inside and out.

CLIFF: I am very aware of the arrogance of the Populars. Carla is feisty but she does not fit in with this group.

Later, back at camp, Carla and Cliff sat by the fire while Diane and Rebecca huddled together, and there was a lot of smiling and giggling. It’s a typical set-up scene, poor Carla unaware of how close she’s come to being the next one fired. Cliff commented that he thinks there were a lot of Dianes and Rebeccas in Carla’s life. Well, that kind of goes for most people there, Cliffy. Cliff and Carla went for a private talk, Carla really wanted to fire Rebecca but Cliff wanted it to be Sam.

CARLA: Dude, I’m with you to get Sam out. I could care less about him, drooling over Diane and Rebecca, come on!

And before long the shadows lengthened and darkness came.

IMMUNITY CHALLENGE: SURVIVOR FAMILY FEUD

The all filed in out of the dark and took their positions at podiums as Norm explained the rules of the game.

NORM: At this point, down to seven people, your awareness of what is going on within the tribe is critical. The more you know about your tribemates the chances are the better you are going to do.

Oh, great, another static challenge, two in the same episode! I was really hoping for some action. Oh, well. It turned out all their questionnaires had been compiled, they were to try to guess what had been the most popular answer to each question; in other words none of it means a thing when it comes down to what the actual truth may be, it’s all about perception. Well, that’s just so American TV, I’ll have you know. The first player to get five correct answers would win immunity.

NORM: Who would you trust with your life?

They all puzzled about it for a bit, then revealed their guesses. Tough one to start with, I think I’d be like Carla out there and not really trust anyone. Well, the correct answer turned out to be Coach, so Coach, Cliff and Rebecca all collected the first points. Coach, of course, suddenly thrust in the spotlight through no fault of his own, was full of bumbling pride at how well respected he was within the tribe.

NORM: Which tribe member uses sex appeal as a weapon?

Rebecca was a bit taken aback when she herself turned out to be the correct answer, she though Diane was the sex goddess of the tribe while she herself was the fashion princess. Diane, Woody, Carla and Sam all evened the score with that one, everyone was on the board with one point.

NORM: Who is the most honest?

Woody was the answer to that one, and Woody alone scored. Kind of like hubris in reverse, you could say.

NORM: Who would never survive on their own?

Rebecca again was the correct answer, but she had no comments to make about that one; in the back of her mind somewhere she wondered if her spin-off idea might not turn out so well after all. Woody, Cliff, Carla and Coach all scored with that one. Hm, it seems that maybe the Expendables, with their lack of awareness, were tipping the odds somehow?

NORM: Who most needs therapy?

Woody, of course, was the obvious answer.

WOODY: I’m a lunatic, what can I say?

NORM: Does it bother you that they feel that way?

WOODY: No, we joke about it all the time, everyone thinks I’m crazy.

Sam, Woody himself, Cliff, Rebecca and Diane all scored with that one. Note to spoilers: Carla and Coach both think Rebecca is the one that really needs therapy. Don’t know if it means anything, just thought I’d point that out.

NORM: Who would you most like to see pose nude in a magazine?

Popular World righted itself with that one when sex goddess Diane turned out to be the correct answer. Cliff, Carla, Coach, Sam and Rebecca all scored.

NORM: Woody and Cliff are one question away from immunity. Who in the tribe do you have a crush on?

Everyone guessed Diane except Woody who guessed himself, silly B-Lister. The correct answer turned out to be Diane, of course, so Cliffy won the immunity and all the Populars were quick with their congratulations. Cliff went to get the immunity necklace from Norm.

NORM: Who knew you would be the one most in touch with the tribe?

CLIFF: These are my people!

Speaking of hubris, there, seems that Normy just spun some onto Cliffy. Well, it’s not like that’s the first time that ever happened.

DAY 30

All was right in Popular world thanks to Cliffy winning the immunity the night before, and Diane turning out to be the sex goddess after all. Needing to be the center of attention for awhile, Diane decided to take a bath while Sammy ogled.

SAM: Last night I breathed a sigh of relief when Cliff won. Now we can fire Woody, he should have tried a little harder!

All the Populars laughed at Woody’s failure, even Hanger-On Cliffy.

CLIFF: Tonight could signal one of the most important power shifts in this game. I could vote with Sam, Diane and Rebecca, assure myself a position in the final four. I could vote with Carla, Woody and Coach, but the downside to that would be to lose the trust of the Populars.

REBECCA: It’s possible to play the game without hurting anyone in the group.

I’m sure she meant the in-group, the A-List, the Populars, it’s not as if anyone else really matters in Popular World.

Meanwhile, Woody caught a primitive fish and showed it to Carla.

WOODY: This is like a prehistoric fish.

Prehistoric? It’s right there in your hand, it’s another fish you haven’t eaten yet. Sometimes I really do wonder about Woody. Then he and Carla conspired, certain that Cliffy would see the light. Is it hubris all over again?

TRIBAL COUNCIL

After the seven castaways entered the scene in came the jury, Frasier and Lilith looked quite spiffy after their time together on the yacht, former B-Listers relegated to nonspeaking roles until the final show.

NORM: For one of you 30 days is as good as it’s going to get. Woody, are you surprised at how well you’re doing after a month out here?

WOODY: I had a rough start and I came back. I’m surprised my health is still intact, that’s my word for the day.

And so Normy went around to them all in that theme, establishing enough hubris so that it would be a sit-com conclusion no matter how things turned out. Then he noted that Diane had a star painted on her face, and Rebecca a heart. They had done that for each other, Rebecca to reiterate that Diane is definitely the sex goddess of the series, Diane to emphasize that Rebecca really the is emotionally stable one in her opinion. At least that’s how it seemed to me, though it is curious that Diane failed to realize that the heart of the Amazon is historically regarded as a cold and dark muscle. To further confuse the situation, Norm asked Coach for his take on that.

COACH: They’re just together, sometimes the catcher has to signal the pitcher that it’s time for a slider.

Cliff interjected that the biggest part of it all is the interpersonal relationships and getting to understand what’s going on. And then they went to vote.

WOODY (voting for Sam): You tried to fire me once, you tried to fire me twice, you tried to fire me three times!

SAM (voting for Woody): You’re way too much of a threat.

Norm went and collected the votes, came back, and extended the moment for all it was worth.

NORM: Sam … Sam … Woody … Woody … Woody … Sam! And the tenth pink slip in Survivor: The Amazon goes to … SAM!

Well, Sam was cool about it, went and got his torch snuffed, and bid the others fair well, telling them to all stay cool, take it easy. As he walked away he contemplated how cool it would be to get to the yacht, his yacht, finally, and bask in the coolness of it all. All in all, pretty cool show there I’d say. Probably doesn’t make a bit of sense in Popular World, but that’s just what sometimes happens in sit-coms.

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